Badwi

Apparently , i'm only updating my blog on a weekly basis ! I can't help it with my current lifestyle - being a nomad between my SS2 home and mak's place in Damansara Jaya. I wish i could just lead my normal life in our cozy home.Unfortunately , this will not be until late May. Wifey prefers to be at mak's house so that she can concentrate on her studies.Talk about being kiasu..haks.. but it is for the better. Its getting nearer each day.

Its not that we cannot cope in SS2 , but sometimes she trusts her mother more than me to take care of baby Dzaeff.My care is not up to her required standard. haks ! Not that i am complaining but somehow my "presence" in mak's place is needed ; eventhough i don't really do much .Hence my endless short stops in SS2 to pick up my clothes for work the next day. Being in ICU is taking its toll as i get tired easily after work. Eventhough its ok to be in mak's place ,it is not as comfy as being at your own home sweet home.Hence , my minimal contact my "lovie-dovie" at home. Sapa ? My PC lor...

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steps 
I was a bit affected today post call. We lost an 18 months old boy early in the morning. He was in ICU the day before and was completely fine. He was operated about 12 days earlier for Hirschprung's Disease. He was well and discharged well from HKL but was readmitted 3 days later for severe diarrhoea. He was severely dehydrated that he needed inotropic support to maintain his blood pressure. Hence his ICU admission for a central venous line. I have had not much of experience in paediatrics but being in Selayang certainly my knowledge grew exponentially. We discharged him to the ward early friday morning with his dehydration corrected well.

Unfortunately , his only IV access went "kaput" at about 4 am in the morning. Their on call MO called me for help but i was busy myself in the ICU.On top of that , i was about to leave to 7A to intubate a patient in impending respiratory collapse.

Then , at about 7 am , the paediatrics house officer gave me a ring asking for help.

" Siapa doktor on call hari ni ? Dia dah datang ke "
" Dr . Kee... " i said. " What's up ? "
" The boy we referred to you earlier collapsed.. and we are having difficulty intubating him .."
" What ??? Kat mana.. i'll come now !! " i said in a hurried up to 8B.

I was glad in a way when i saw the tube was already in. The Paediatrics specialist was there and explained to me they had to resuscitate him for 15 minutes as he went asystole. He did not look good at all as i glanced on to the portable monitor.There was only a single IV| access through the intraosseous route which means that his peripheral veins must have collapsed really bad. She was pleading for an ICU bed and i quickly ran back to sort out the bed for him.

When the baby arrive in ICU , he was in a really bad condition. He was on triple inotropic support and did not look good at all. His pupils were already dilated and not reactive. As we were adjusting his ET tube , the baby went bradycardic and we had to recommence CPR. It was really bad.. The two paediatrics specialists were panicking and we tried our best to revive the baby. His abdomen was really distended ; a suspiciously suspecting perforated anastomoses. We did the CPR for 30 minutes but it was obvious from the beginning he was not responding at all to our drugs. His size was exactly like Dzaeffran and i could not stop thinking if it was my baby.

His mother broke down really bad when we informed her the bad news. She was hysterical and needed restraining. She was crying all her might as she did not expect her baby to deteriorate as such.

" Tak mungkin !! tak mungkin... semalam ok jeee....****zzzzz.... !!!"

I can empathize her feeling as the baby was perfectly allright the day before , wanting to jump out of the ICU bed so much ! He was supposed to be transfered out to HKL that morning for further management by the primary team who did the surgery. Somber mood was all over ICU. She cried and cried and fainted. Her husband was trying hard to console her but he himself was crying in pain. It was a sad scene and my tears were flowing slowly as well...

I was deeply disturbed by the event. To see Dzaeffran smiling at me when i got back home was such a relief. I cannot imagine if what happened to the poor mother happen to me. I am deeply grateful to the almighty for baby Dzaeff , and insya allah will try my best to fulfill my duty as a good father and teacher to the beautiful gift.