Testing one's iman

It has been a sad end of the month. Azad's wife deteriorated and finally found her peace on the 30th of January. Azad was in fact actively dicsussing in the whatsapp group towards Maghrib that day. He suddenly disappeared and came back, telling that his wife had passed away.

The diagnosis was perhaps in late October and her deterioration was so swift that within 4 months she left for the hereafter. Thats how fast lung cancer stage 4 can deteriorate. 

I guess that must have been the reason why I stopped blogging for a while. Totally had nothing to blog about. Perhaps the significance of being in front of a PC and writing something did not bring me peace. Nor was the novel i was writing in full speed, halted at chapter 14 at the moment.

Azad is like a brother to me, we have known each other long enough. Our wives were cousins thus the link to our blood relations at the moment. When he is sad, i feel sad. I know how heartbroken he is at the moment as that is who he is. He may be macho and look tought, but he is the sweetest person that i've ever known in my life.

What triggered me to restart my blog maybe because of a FB entry we wrote today. It brought tears to my eyes because when you do something for the person your dear most, you dont think. you just do. 

I wrote this for Azad the day after the burial. I could not sleep and i just had to write it down. It is how i express myself i guess.

Benar,
makna cinta teragung,
adalah cinta dengan penciptanya,
cinta yang bertunjangkan ketauhidan ilahi,
cinta yang berteraskan iman dan ihsan.
kelmarin ramai yang menjadi saksi,
bagaimana cinta dua manusia yang berpaksikan ya rabb,
berkekalan mekar selama-lamanya,

Sahabatku,
La yukallifullahu nafsan illa wus'aha,
Allah tidak akan menguji hambanya dengan sesuatu yang hambanya tidak mampu,
Allah menguji cintamu kepadanya,
Allah menguji kasihmu atas keesaannya,
Allah menguji ketaatanmu sejujur-jujurnya.

Tidak pernah aku melihat keikhlasan cinta,
Sebagaimana yang engkau zahirkan,
Manakan aku mampu lahirkan,
Daya usaha yang engkau korbankan,
tak pernah muncul keluh rungutan,
tak pernah wujud tanda sesalan.
kudrat luar biasa yang kau kumpulkan,
walaupun seringkali hati bagai diluluh-luluh,
menerima seadanya berita cerita derita,
duka nestapa yang datang bertimpa-timpa,
engkau redhakan jua dalam keterpaksaan.

Dari mana kau ambil kekuatan,
untuk merenung lau mata pemberi 5 zuriatmu.
mengharungi hari-hari terakhir bersama kekasih hatimu,
menatang jasad yang lemah dan tak mampu,
Yang kau tetap cintakan hanya kerana DIA.

Mungkinkah aku dapat menjejaki langkahmu,
Begitu mulia tanpa dipaksa,
cinta suci hanya milik isterimu,
cinta abadi yang pasti kepada Allah,
bisakah aku menjadi sepertimu,
Imam yang berpesan akan kalimah thayyibah,
tatkala sakaratulmaut menjelma,
Imam yang mendoakan kesejahteraan barzah,
apabila nyawa terpisah dari jasad,
Imama yang menyembahyangkan jenazah,
usai sempurna urusan,
Imam yang memeluk ampuh serapat-rapatnya,
membaringkan sekujur tubuh jasad berkafan,
di liang kekal tempat persemadian,

Abangku,
tanggungjawabmu menjadi khalifah,
ketika akad penghalal mudahcara,
ikrar membimbing pendampingmu ke Jannah,
bagai terlaksana sudah,
seiring tanda-tanda khusnul khaatimah yang mulia,
dikala kau redha mengizinkan pemergiannya,
tenang senyumannya nyata,
yakin untuk bertemu dengan penciptanya.

Shah Alam 21k night run

After the talk during the day, guess what i did that night? haha

I DID NOT PRACTICE AT ALL FOR THIS RUN. And i registered post hajj aritu kononnya motivation la to start running again. Haha My mileage before this run was probably only 6km per week itupun tak tentu!

I've totally lost my fitness and slowly trying to regain it back. I had second thoughts about not coming for this run but its the new year, so i have to change something! Haha so belasah je la. Lets see how far i can go. I sort of "retired" last year and hence i can say that i've not run competetively for almost a year! I registered for few but chickened out at the very last minute because i did not have the motivation. 2016 lain sket aa.. 

 Puncak Event became the main organizer for this run. ALhamdulillah, bisnes Deeno and Pak Am maju jaya as they are organizing more races now. Doing really well insha Allah and I will supportthem in any way that i can. Termasukla join the race hehe 

 The running route was phenomenal. It was superly humid but that is not my excuse for doing a very slow time. Obviously, i did not train for this run so it was a disaster. If it was 10km i would have been not too bad. But 21km?/ haha memang gila lah. But then again, 10km is of not so much challenge. The pain of reaching the finishing line is something i've missed for at least one year. Ada umph lari 21km! But definitely not 42km hahaha yang itu kalau tak train memang cari nahas! 

 I ran for 10km and after that a leisurely walk for the next 11 km hahaha seriously! Felt good at the beginning thinking eh.. macam boleh je ikut pace. But reaching 8km i knew it was my delusion haha time tu pun kaki cam nak cramp! hahaha So better slow down as if i injure myself tak habis the route, lagilah buat malu! 

Managed to reach the finish line in one piece. NO obvious injury but at times twitches je lah. Alhamdulillah, yang penting tak injured. I do need to buck up for my project this year! Especially to get back my fitness. It made such a difference when you are fit! I do hope to find time in between my busy days to run insha Allah. 

UPM Fiqh Medic talk 16/1 #DIAgnosis2

I came early to the event. It was not difficult to drive from Shah Alam to Serdang. The UPM medical department is just beside Serdang Hospital. The students who received me did not know who I was. It was okay ..takpela.. haha  Im not as famous as Ben or Anwarlah kan. haha 

Our slot was due at 11am as the third slot. We were his sideshows.  I was keen to listen to the talk of the earlier slots. It was about Medic fiqh by Ustaz Fauwaz Fadzil Noor. Alhamdulillah, I was not disappointed. He was a good speaker and I am lucky to have his book with me. A souvenir signed by Ustaz Fauwaz himself. He is the son of Allahyarham Ustaz Fadzil Noor (past president of PAS). I am sure he will follow his dad's footsteps.

 He dazzled the crowd with his persona and jokes. The mood was elated after his session. I said oh no.. we have to keep the momentum going. Me and Azah were due to speak about Depression among medical students. Honestly, if we were not careful it can be a very dry topic for a forum. We had to step up! 

 I wasi n my Maharaja Lawak mode haha I am lucky it sort of click otherwise it could have been a disaster! I must apologize to the moderator as she was the person whom i picked for the crowd's entertainment.We broke the ice and the crowd was certainly concentrating on our event.

I started of by defining definition and the data which depicts that in general 1/3 of medical students anywhere in the world facing this problem. 

Azah was at her usual best - "mini" Prof Muhaya; a true inspiration and role model to the medical students. 

It was an enjoyable session and I thank the organizing committee for inviting us. Of course, my hunch was my name will not be the first in their minds to invite but Insha Allah, I will always give my best to share and hopefully the crowd benefited. :) 

Jom meh dengar

This year the Diagnosis team will try to engage the public more besides our incoming write ups. Insha Allah, sharing is caring.

A spin off from our earlier engagement with CUCMS. Insha Allah, semoga bermanafaat. 

Can/t intubate Can't ventilate - Sux magic.

(This is a very technical post - mind the terms but I want to keep this as an entry) 

After a long lapse of this possibility, we had this episode recently. This was something all anaesthetist feared and the nightmare happened.

This patient had a BMI of just 30 however the airway was suspect from the beginning. His mouth opening was small, a Malampati 4 and he had a thick short neck. However, it was not we have not encountered such patients before so the case was to proceed as planned. I was there to help up my colleague and this meant we had 2 consultants standing by. 

The issue about difficult airway is IF YOU LOSE THE AIRWAY. This means the inability to oxygenate the patient and that can be catastrophic. If one can continue to oxygenate, then the attempt for laryngoscopy and intubation can theoretically be as long as possible. 

At the same time, patient was suspected of having an acute abdomen which means the risk as gastric content regurgitation to be high! So it was a catch 22 situation. 

Traditionally RSI (rapid sequence induction) will be the gold standard to secure such airways. The arrival of sugammaddex (direct reversal of Rocuronium) has changed the airway management to a certain extent, however traditionally one would still use suxamethonium as the mainstay for safety. Especially in a centre where one might not have the full equipment for back up. 

True enough, this patient had a very anterior position of the vocal cord despite a satisfactory tube on the C blade of CMAC. The view on the Long blade was 3B at least and no way of manipulating to get it a 2 or 1. It was difficult to negotiate the tube to be placed in the trachea. 

As i've mentioned before, we had BIG issues trying to bag mask the patient when the saturation dropped, and by the 3rd attempt it was almost impossible to mask ventilate the patient. He desaturated badly and in my mind i was already thinking of attempting a direct invasive airway.

And the magic came.. sux effect came to and end and the patient breathed spontaneously. And this spontaneous breathing was the thing that kept him alive. His saturation picked up straight away without the muscle relaxation. 

It was a sigh of relief.. ultimately safe this time around. Thank god for suxamethonium property of being a depolarizing muscle relaxant! 

We woke up this patient as how the protocol would recommend us to do so. We explained to him what had happened. The next step was supposed to be awake fibreoptic intubation - unfortunately we did not have that facility. Thus we had to transfer the patient to our sister hospital so that this case can be managed accordingly. 

It wasa heart stopping moment, i have not had this type of situation for quite some time. It tested our ability to think as based per protocol. It made both of us reflect on the importance of having plans B and C all ready when disaster strikes.

Alhamdulillah..

Marissa in school now

Alhamdulillah, everything went well today. It was Marissa's first day of formal school. Like many other kids her age, the anxiety is not as prominent as how it was for kids 20 years ago. They are used to the environment because of their kindergarten. Hence it was a breeze to see them beginning their new chapter in life. 

 The orientation for SKBJ was last Thursday, and as how they have experience it many times before, everything went well and smooth. I am sure once Marissa is used to the school buildings she will enjoy school. The school is really nice to be at and i pray that they enjoy school as how i used to when i was their age. 

 When Qaisya was in standard one, i knew i could rely on Qayyum to guide her. With Qaisya i was a bit sceptical therefore i arranged mama to monitor their first day of school. Qaisya did well in being the big sister, alhamdulillah. I guess they do mature with age.

Insha Allah Marissa, Walid pray that you will enjoy school and do well in your studies. You have always been the strong willed one.

Kais pagi makan pagi

 The best peribahasa for my current job and position.
Kais pagi makan pagi,
Kais petang makan petang,

p/s check out my scrubs cap.. haha fanatic..

The force awakens review

Kecoh-kecoh satu Malaysia and I was part of the craze as well! Haha We actually watched it on the first day of release, it was supposed to be buying school clothes day but we got diverted. How can I not watch it and my kids were as excited as well to be watching it on 3D. Haha I did not have to book in advance because it was a working day. Sure banyak tiket nye show pagi-pagi and it certainly was.

 First of all whatever the souvenir was available, belasah bought all haha and of course the excitement watching it again. And bila credits mula tu pun I was like.. fuiyyoo..fuiyyoo.. haha memang true fan lah! 

 JJ Abrams did justice to the franchise. He was not too CGI thus the excitement felt real. The battle scenes were amazing and simply mesmerizing! For the hardcore fans this movie was what everybody waited for. The speculation and theories which came out in 1985 after the ROTJ resurfaced and it was interesting to discuss amongst friends :) Haha 

However, the storyline was too predictable, macam remake. So for that value memang kureng ah.. but who cares! This is the Star Wars that we all waited for! I can still remember the disgust and disappointment when Episode 1 was released. It did not capture the trilogy spirit but it was enough to make people understand why there was 4,5 and 6. Now 7 is up and the expectation is high to see what is in store for 2017 - Episode 8.

Resolutions and expectations

Every year everybody will make their own resolutions. I have without fail being religious to this practice. Alhamdulillah, i have managed to achieve my targets year in year out. 2015 was memorable as the only objective was to fulfill my 5th pillar of Islam obligation. It was a wonderful journey and a reflection of my future endevours.

IMAN

This would be a life long challenge. More so after hajj. It is a struggle to keep the motivation as how it was duirng the hajj period. The things that you have to do in your daily life and balancing it with core ibadah. It is not easy to stay istiqamah but i guess that is what hajj is about. Its the after maintainence and not about the induction!  To rethink and rediscover the inner peace you had at that time. Insha Allah, so help me God! :) 

IDEAL BMI

As usual, getting myself into the ideal weight category will always be the aim. It was successful 2 years back but since coming back home, it was an almost impossible task. Last year was worse, as the amount of effort put into exercise was almost non-existence! Haha.. Partly it is because of my current job which can be unpredictable at times. However, it should not be an excuse I feel. Therefore, I want to get myself fit again. This is the only way to reduce my weight to an ideal BMI. The food is Malaysia is too non forgiving and it is the time to look for in doing my run or cycling would be the main issue. 

CAREER

Being in the private service now, there is not much career advancement, probably looking more at increased remuneration. Haha Well, this will depend on the progress of my centre. Alhamdulillah, the one year so far has been adequate and I thank god for that. I should expect my day cases to be more complicated by the day as the centre is growing as well. Unless, i have another offer from another place.. this would really have to be good if i decide to switch camps. I do miss my cardiac though especially off pump CABGs. Im not sure what opprtunity would beckon, but i am disappointed that the previous centre where I was not keen on having me be a part of their team. I am not sure why but i guess Allah knows best. Husnuz Zon.. hehe i will try to find ways to be able to practice cardiac anaesthesia again.

BOOK

This will be an interesting year as a spin off to Diagnosis 2's success in 2015. My challenge is to produce my own book, and perhaps a collaboration for a future widecreen adaptation later. Insha Allah, I am looking forward to this and we'd see how this will fare in the coming future. It is not a simple task to produce a bestseller but Insha Allah, I can only try.

Insha Allah, Bring it on 2016!! 

First post 2016

Salam Tahun baru 2016!!
Last year I was on top of the world, looking for connections haha 

Disaster Drill KPJ-evo

I am the chairman of the Disaster committee in my hospital. We had our first annual Disaster Drill last week. It was an exercise to test our hospital protocol and readiness if such event happens. Rawang is an industrial area and would be of risk for disasters to happen. Therefore, even as a private hospital, we are to be ready at least in terms of preparation in case something happens.

                                                   moulage and make up

                                                   macam zombie

                                                    caught radiology by surprise

                                                    Qayyum in ED

It was something that everybody was excited to participate. We planned it well 1 month in advance. The actors (staff members) were ever motivated and gave their full cooperation. Sporting habis! I brought Qayyum to join in the fun. The moulage was extraordinary! Kudos to the staff members! Memang dedicated :) 

We ended our session in the afternoon after a debriefing. It was a good learning experience. Insha Allah for the better! 

Selangor Misi 33!! Red Giants rule!

#throwback 

Selangor marched into the finals of Malaysia Cup as a surprise package. As loyal fans, how could we not attend the match.. dahlah duduk Shah Alam kan? Besides that, we are season ticket holders :) (which we only use like 3 times? haha) Anyway, Shah took the initiative to buy the tickets online and Walah! the ultras are here to celebrate! Yes!! My first ever Malaysia Cup final! Ive always been to the stadium but never to a Selangor Malaysia CUp final.. the last was in 2005, but i could not attend then. So now is the time! 

With our previous experiences in Shah Alam stadium, we decided to park far away from the designated parking as the traffic after the match can be a nightmare if we were to park next to the stadium. Honestly, for a Cup final we were too casual and by the time we got into the stadium, there were no seats left! Aduss... I was thinking, maybe i have to stand all the way to watch this match. Shah then brought us to this place.. which was cool.. as we literally watched the game from the roof of the stadium! Haha.. 

 The atmosphere was as ever electrifying.I love being in a stadium full of passionate supporters. Cool habis. We were there. It was a question though why was the Kedah supporters who looked like dominating the stadium seats.. hmmm.. 

 We were there when Hazwan scored the first goal in the first few minutes. We were there when Hazman scored another in the second half. The Selangor supporters were singing and dancing. The team played really well. Puas hati tengok.. effort from each player. The antiques of Di Guelme.. Andik and the rest of the team. Not to be forgotten, Kedah's keeper haha  

And when the final whistle blew, we were there... were there.. to witness Selangor's 33rd Piala Malaysia.. Kudos Red Giants! Kudos Selangor!

Another year coming to an end

I have not done justice to this blog. I guess since the day our maid called and decided not to return from her holidays it has been a haphazard life. Wifey became very stressed that she had changed the definition of stress Haha I was busy myself with work as suddenly there was a surge of cases. Its the end of the year and lots of people are trying to maximize their benefits. I had a run of midnight epidurals and caesarean sections; uncommon in my hospital so far but i guess that is how life is. Kalau tiap-tiap hari macam tu, then hmm.. kena relook at my life goals! haha 

Its the 30th today and in two days time, according to the Gregorian calendar we will be moving on to the next cycle of life. 2015 was certainly the year where I recalculated my life goals especially with the hajj trip. The last 2 months became an eye opener to the meaning of life. Seeing wifey's cousin in battle with cancer at a young age is overwhelming. I cannot imagine the things that she has to go through, and of course her dear Hubby, Azad my good friend. I honestly don't know if i am to be in his shoes, to be doing what he has done so far. The sacrifice, the pain.. masha Allah. I may have encountered patients with a similar state and condition, but as now it is happening close to me; it feels surreal that i maybe able to think what should be done, whether I can really do it if I am the one. 

What will it be in 2016? For whatever it is, Allah has already have everything in plan.

#DIAgnosis2 in CUCMS - The Giving Hands

Talk to the hand.. tengok poster rasa macam tu.. haha

Alhamdulillah, the 3 of us were invited to be panelists to this session last night. We were invited by the student body who were raising funds for their humanitarian trip to Laos next year. I have always enjoyed such forums and talks especially towards the future healthcarers of Malaysia.

It was my first time in CUCMS premises and I was very impressed with the set up. I have been following the university's progress through the years because of Prof Latif. A very inspiring person I had met when I was 18 years old. He changed my perception on the true meaning of a complete and holistic doctor. We were young, far away in a foreign land and it was him who impressed me the most. High academic achiever and at the same time inspiring us the Islamic way. This was back in 1994-1996! He did then mention of his vision of having his own medical school with its own unique teaching philosophy. Alhamdulillah, I was at his premises yesterday witnessing his vision. Insha Allah, maybe with DIAgnosis, we can create something similar.  

The format was simple, and we only had two real questions to talk about. And 10 minutes for each of us flew just like that. I nearly forgot how i would always enjoy myself on the stage talking.. talking.. haha What i reckon have changed in my way of presentation would be how relax i can be on the stage, thus cracking jokes here and there as how I would do during my teaching days in UiTM. 

Azah was as inspiring as ever, cool and calm and the idol. Dato Rahim mentioned that she was like Prof Muhaya! hehe Indeed she was, talking in the mannerism of an elder sister inspiring her siblings. Ben was as usual the charming guy.. the darlig of the crowd! Haha Well, nak buat macamana as he is indeed very famous on twitterland with 40k followers ! mak aii.. and nampak sangat la when 1 girl actually stood up during Q&A,,, " Im here because of Dr Beni..." and i could swear seeing in her eyes: waiting to say I love you Dr Beni! hahaha but this is Malaysia kan.. so malu sikit aa.. 

 We had the special appearance of Muadz, a contemporary nasyid singer who sang for us really well! I am impressed with him and who knows in the future we might collaborate? :)

Alhamdulillah, I was glad to be involved in the programme. Thank you to the organizer and thank you to teamdiagnosis for making it happen :) 

Mati adalah motivasi hidup terbaik

I've been watching Sayap Jibril on tv. I reckon more lesson learnt as compared to the monotonous tanah kubur. Though i must admit that the popular Tok Adi is one my current favourite characters on TV. Of course, the element of logical condition of Ustaz Rayhan can be questioned, but for dakwah entertainment purposes there are other things which is more important. 

The other thing that attracted me is the soundtrack. When it is from Ungu, you would know the depth of their song's quality. When i went through the lyrics, wah.. too powerful! certainly something to ponder. I've been pondering about death these few days. Its never ours to decide when and how. I've been toying around with the idea of What if it was me kind of thing. Am i ready? Am I prepared?

Saat tibe nafas di ujung hela
Mata tinggi tak sanggup bicara
Mulut terkunci tanpa suara
Bila tiba saat berganti dunia 
Alam yang sangat jauh berbeda
Siapkah kita menjawab semua
Pertanyaan

Bila nafas akhir terhenti sudah
Jantung hatipun tak berdaya
Hanya menangis tanpa suara
Mati tak bisa untuk kau hindari
Tak mungkin bisa untuk engkau lari
Ajalmu pasti menghampiri
Mati tinggal menunggu saat nanti
Kemana kita bisa lari
Kita pastikan mengalami mati

Mati tak bisa untuk kau hindari
Tak mungkin bisa engkau lari
Ajalmu pasti menghampiri
Mati tinggal menunggu saat nanti
Kemana kita bisa lari
Kita pastikan mengalami
Mati

Alfatihah to Shahril Hamzah

I received the news through our SMTTDI chat group. An ex schoolmate of mine Shahril passed away due to a freak motorbike accident in Pajam early morning. It was his last ride. I have not met Shahril since leaving school. Perhaps just facebook and the whatsapp group where he was a non active participant.

Since I was in TTDI on Sunday, i made a point to be present during his funeral. My mum's place and SUngai Penchala is too near. He was a lovely guy as long as i can remember. He was part of the Gunung Tahan expedition team in 1992 and a very useful member. He has always been courteous and i will always remember him for his akhlak.
As the Ketua Murid, i took him into the prefectorial board in form 5 as he was fit to be one. Its just unfortunate that the school had some sort of bias towards those coming from Sungai Penchala. He was chosen based on his merits and Alhamdulillah, he was doing well in life. 

 He left 4 children and it was heartbreaking to see them yesterday night. The jenazah arrived from Seremban hospital at about 630pm and he was buried after the maghrib prayers. It was a shock to the family as he was at his best of health. Shahril was a superbike enthusiast and it was just unfortunate that he decided on a solo ride to Tanjung Malim yesterday. Daud (another ex SMTTDI) colleague was his usual companion and in his bike team. It was a sad moment when his uncle lead the jenazah prayers with his father and siblings on the first saf. 

I saw a few familiar faces yesterday, Im sure they were my juniors in SMTTDI. I met Afezan, a close family friend of Shahril and my former schoolmate too. We caught up and i guess thats how I will meet my old friends; either weddings or funerals. 

ALfatihah for arwah Shahril and may he be blessed amongst the solehins. 

School holidays and achievements thus far

Again.. the hectic schedule of running around with work and activities for the children had made me neglected my blog this last 2 weeks. Honestly, i totally have forgotten about continuing to write about my hajj journey!! Haha 

Its the end of the year and kids were at their busiest schedule. From Marissa's end of year concert to Qayyum and Qaisya's Hari Anugerah. I try as much not to miss their thingy in the midst of my hectic oncall. 

 Qayyum surprised all of us with his achievement in SRA. At first when he came back and told me that he was 2nd in class, i was very sceptical. I could only attend Qaisya's report card day and not his. Ustaz had to call to inform that it was true that he will be getting his prize on Hari Anuegerah. Haha That is as bad as it can get. Alhamdulillah, it was his rezeki. I guess the drill we did during the haze "holidays" improved his grades. As proud as I can be, i thought it was good for his motivation. This was his first time unlike Qaisya and I am sure it will spur him on to achieve better things in the future. 

 I missed Qaisya's SKBJ hari penyampaian hadiah though due to work. It was not possible to take short notice leave and we had a busy list that day. I must thank my auntie, AUntie Nor who volunteered to be at the school to celebrate Qaisya's first place in class! Kudos! 

 Last weekend, both Qayyum and Qaisya took part in the SKBJ close chess competition. It is a yearly thingy for the club - in seeing how much those coming for the weekly chess club had progressed. It was Qaisya's first tournament and I was interested to see how she would cope and fare in a more competetive environment. She got 3rd and hence the medal and I am beginning to sense her longing to win things. Haha I'm just not sure how would she cope with dissapointments later :) 

My Hajj journey Part 3

The flight to KLIA to Jeddah took 9 hours, I've not been in a flight that long for quite sometime and probably realized that fact when it was announced by the captain. I am with Tabung Haji's Topaz package and with me were about 30 couples. We only knew one couple at first, Yuzaini from Petronas as we were once facilitators for Projek Tekad more than 10 years ago! We met them earlier during the Kursus Intensif package in KL few weeks before departure. Its nice however to be in a group where you do not really know other people as it gives you the chance to obtain more friends and contacts from all ages.

Our flight were shared by a few other Malaysian package groups. Most significantly, a group which was invited personally by King Salman - the chief of Malaysian Police Tan Sri Khalid  and Dr Maza, Perlis Mufti was in that group too. It was with this group that I met Fadzil - an acquaintance from my Perth days! We managed to catch up a bit, its good to meet up old friends in this journey of ibadah. 

We were in our ihram and slowly building the momentum towards niat in miqat which means having to confirm our intention at the place designated for us to do so. This would be one of the pillars of hajj. It is haram to enter Makkah if not to worship him ie either umrah or hajj as planned. Since our flight was from Malaysia our miqat was Qarnul Manazil. Obviously being high up in the sky we would not know but we were informed by the flight authorities to confirm our intentions when we passed the area. And from there on, we are bounded to the 13 don'ts of ihram. Bismillah. 

I guess it was the niat to ibadah that made me uncharacteristicly not taking as many pictures during this earlier part of the journey as I would have if travelling elsewhere.I was more comfortable after masyair and did take my chance to snap typical jemaah pics! haha The talbiah was recited again and again. My heart went racing as this is it. I am on my way to Makkah. I am on way to the holy land. The last i was there was when i was 16. A lot have changed i guess based on the stories which were told to us by fellow Hajj who went on previous years, 

This is a journey where we were advised to be patient all the time. A lot of test will be encountered and one has to be true to one's intention. Being a "pendosa tegar", i was a bit worried if I am to be facing multiple dugaans haha But i guess this is the time to be tested. It was talbiah, zikr, talbiah zikr on my lips and in my heart. 

Allahumma yassir Wa la Tu'assir.

Our arrival in Jeddah was on time and surprisingly the immigration wait was not too bad. It was not too long and made easy with the efficient movement by the authorities. 2-3 hours waiting was not too bad as compared to the experience of 8-14 hours by previous jemaahs. We arrived at 9pm and by 12am we were on our bus to Jeddah.

The true heat of Saudi was felt when we went out of the airport to the bus station area. Our Tabung Haji Travel CEO, Dato Yasmin was there to receive us and with her staff, making our journey experience as comfortable as it can be. Honestly, in my mind i was ready for any worst scenario.. as I've always been ready in my past travels. This time around it was different because my mind was then focused on my task ahead. The palpitation was getting more obvious as we were approaching makkah.