Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thank you Allah for your grace


As humans it is just natural for us to not be satisfied for what we have. It is so easy to complain and grouch for things that we don't have or can't get ; rather than being thankful and appreciate for things that we have. It is more convenient to look at the little bad things instead of the bigger good things granted to us by god.

‘Sesungguhnya manusia diciptakan bersifat gelisah. Apabila bahaya mendatangani dia keluh kesah. Dan apabila mendapat kebaikan amatlah kikir.
(Al-Maarij, ayat 19-21)

Seeing the parents of the unfortunate congenital heart disease babies and children in IJN was a revelation for me. They have with them, their own flesh and blood; literally gasping for breath of life ever since their inception. I cannot imagine the stress these parents have ; constantly worried about the future of their children. Few had to give up their career in life to sacrifice for the sake of their loved one.To make it worse, the majority comes from the lower income social strata. The ones in IJN are the fortunate ones by lottery and i know there are more of the unlucky ones out there..unreached.
To know the poor prognosis of such babies and children, that certain procedures done are purely palliative and not curative can cause so much hurt to the doctor who was given the responsibility to councel them. But of course, these parents hold their hopes high on you.. to whatever you do is hope regardless the risk and real outcome. It is that small bit of hope which carry them to their current state. During my premed rounds seeing the parents for consent, I had to hold back my tears.. and let it go once I am alone in the treatment room while completing my clerking for the hospital computer system. I spend quite some time doing the premed because it is humane to sit, talk and importantly listen to their stories.. most of them sad and disheartening. This may explain why i go back home almost everyday.

I thank Allah for his blessings and for giving me three beautiful offsprings who are healthy. I've enjoyed watching them grow so fast that sometimes you wanna pause and press the rewind button to enjoy the moment. I cannot imagine being in the shoes of the parents I met in IJN.. I guess, the only way I can contribute would be to ensure my very best to help alleviate their pain.. as well as being thankful and reminding not just myself of how lucky we are to have the life that we are living now...

C'mon la.. theuniverse does not orbit around you..


Respect should be earned. Respect cannot be forced upon to. One should treat others the way one wants to be treated. Easy enough as a simple logic isn't it?
Apparently.. there are certain narrow minded arrogant people who reckons that they can say whatever they want and whenever they want it. Period.. and as if nothing is wrong with them at all??!! Where's the common sense la?
A simple rule: How do you expect one to respect another when he is not shown the courtesy of one? I mean.. i do not tolerate people who refuse or arrogantly disrespect another..regardless. I mean, you want another person to hear you or require your help but you disrespect them in the most blatant manner.. you expect the person to blindly oblige to that? Hello? Wake up? where is one's sense of simple manners? Nak kata kurang ajar bapak ada..mak ada..
I guess the most ideal world for somebody like this if they are the only living creature on earth..

Convincing your words are,
that one is worthless,
a hideous individual.
Resembling a serpent,
your insults lead one to death,
yet another a victim of abuse.

p/s post luahan perasaan.. hahahahaha

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Penang compressed weekend


I was in Penang during the weekend, my second ever trip to the famous island of Malaysia. I was there for 2 reasons:
1) A dear friend and former IMU classmate Quah Boon Leong's wedding ( he's a muslim now..donning the name Johan!!)
2) Penang Bridge International Marathon.. i ran the 21k
As usual the active gang of Mafiz, Azad and Kamal were my compatriots! We were off from KL by Saturday noon and being on board the 5 series was a riding pleasure! I wish I am able to have one of it in the future..hahahaha
Leong's reception was held in E&O hotel, a prestigious and exclusive hotel and I was glad i brought my suit with me as it was definitely strictly black tie! Everybody was well dressed and i did not feel out of place at all! It was a really enjoyable wedding as I met a number of my old buddies from Univ and we had great fun sitting on the same table!

Unfortunately, I could not stay long as I had to have a bit of rest before the Penang 21K. Iwish I had because I know with the gang in the house, it would have been reallyfun!
Honestly, i felt it was ridiculous to start running at 3am in the morning from Queensbay area.but looking at Kamal's 42K starting time..2am, ok la..not too bad i guess! PBIM was a definite success as it attracted more than ten thousand runners.Initially I was a bit sceptical about the number thinking it was a publicit stunt but when I was on the bridge..Oh my god..you can see a swarm of runners in front and behind you..and it was a moment of its own!

I thought with no training at all( wih the busy IJN posting as well as the rainy season) I would have just died on the first 100m! hahahaha However to my surprise, the pace was good and I felt really good that i just ran..and ran..and ran... and ehh.. ok la pulak !!
Of course, my mental block at 19km came into reality causing me to limp and walk for a bit. I took my power gel before the mark but the pain confidently appeared as I reach the taboo mark! I knew I was on a good time.. and I just pushed myself really hard..
"Sakit itu hanya perasaannn..."
"Kesakitan hanya sementara..kejayaan buat selama-lamanya!!"
with these 2 phrases i really pushed myself to the finish line which was not as near as one would reckon even at the 20km mark.. hahahaha
Alhamdulillah, I clocked my personal best ever( who would have thought with absolutely no run after the Genting trailblazer!!) and i am really proud of it..seriously!! Checked the official time and its 2hr 31 min 39 secs... cool.. oklah tu!
It was a definite hectic weekend, tiring.. mind torturing.. but PRICELESS!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Anak-anakku Satu Anugerah.. 15/11/09



Cahayamataku,

Sesungguhnya kehadiranmu dalam hidupku

Membuka satu lembaran bahagia,

Setelah sekian lama menanti dengan seribu harapan,

Disebalik kekecewaan dugaan tuhan,

Yang berkali-kali datang

Menggoncang ketaqwaan dan menguji keimanan

Wahai anakku,

Tiada yang lebih berharga,

Mendengar tangisanmu buat kali pertama,

Kelahiran yang kesakitannya terus tiada,

Tatkala umi dapat memeluk dan mendakapmu,

Dalam laungan azan iqamah syahdu walidmu itu..

Sumber ilhamku,

Kami sesungguhnya bersyukur kepada yang esa,

Kurniaan zuriat yang selama ini dicari,

Sudah dikecapi, telah dimilikki,

Kegembiraan kami yang kiranya dikala duka,

Terubat sahaya nista purnama,

Melihatkan telatah dan gayamu,

Karenah kenakalanmu,Bisikan manjamu,

Bisa mengangkat iltizam semangatku..

Sayangku,

Penganugerahanmu sebenarnya cabaran amanah,

Untuk membentuk dan mencorakkanmu,

Agar lahir taqwa dan tawadda’,

Bakal memimpin dan menjulang syariat,

Bangga dilahirkan islam,

Yakin akan islam itu ad-din..

Wahai anak-anakku,

Tiada yang kupinta ,

Selain agar bersama disisiku,

bersyahadah bertasbih dan bertahmid,

Disaat-saat datangnya sakaratul maut,

Dan jinjingan jasadku dalam pemergian,

Menuju ke hadrat ilahi

Anak-anakku Satu Anugerah....

.

p/s I'm dead sure the TASKA will be banning me from joining the competition again after the 2 wins in succession.. hahaha

Happy birthday Myftzal Dzaeffran Qayyum!!


We celebrated Dzaeff's birthday in the usual small scale manner. It was a proud day for me and wifey after Dzaef's peformance earlier in the morning during his TASKA concert!
He was very excited about celebrating his birthday and he smiled all the way from seeingthe specially made Ben10 cake for him until he went to sleep..
And just like wifey said, 4 years ago.. we didn't even know if he was able to be live after a stormy pregnancy and delivery.. Alhamdulillah

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Code Blue.. bllurrgghhh....


Number for Code Blue: 8899 in IJN.
( to be less jargonic: somebody collapsed in the hospital and requiring immediate attention by the oncall people)
The announcement came at about 330am.. I was not really sleeping as phone calls kept coming in from ICU and CCU to inform me about this and that..
" CODE BLUE... and it just went blurrish... alamak.. which ward la? Quickly i went out of my room and went to the ICU B counter and immediately on seeing me they told me its DAHLIA.. and ok.. Dahlia.. where is it again? ( my orientation in IJN is still semi-clear as my stint here is mainly in the OT and ICL)

I ran up the stairs and yup.. the CTS registrar was already there with CPR already been started and my job here now... airway protection! Immediately after my arrival all the other registrars arrive and as per ACLS, one of them became the team leader. The intubation was fairly difficult.. but i managed to secure it ASAP and the whole chain of survival process began.. even in IJN; situations like this it can be a bit kelam kabut but I must say it is definitely more organized than the resuscitation efforts I've done before in my life. Everybody knew their role and there was no conflict of command. the different thing about here was : "vasopressin 40 units was available.. whooaahh.. i became jakun a bit to see it..
We revived her rhythm back after 30 minutes of CPR with 2 shocks in between when the rhythm just went VF. Seeing this i reckon, with proper training and supervision; it is possible to achieve a comprehensive CPR upon patients who can be revived at that time; this minus the survival rate anyway..
And what can be more of an experience when you are called to give anaesthesia at 2am for a Day 2 TOF corrrection who was very unstable with all the inotropes ( includes vasopressin and levosimendan which I;ve never seen in my life before!!) that we had to reopen his chest in PICU? simply priceless...

Monday, November 09, 2009

IJN cardiac anaesthesia posting

I survived my first Sunday IJN call and Alhamdulillah, it was ice cool as my PPUM calls. Beginners luck i reckon! However the premedication rounds for today's list was overwhelming!! Banyak wooo nak kena tengok!! and I finished seeing my patients shortly before 9pm ( starting at 2pm!) Luckily I'm quite familiar with the Phillips system they are implementing for total paperless network system so it was fairly alright for me to double chart my pre med findings..

I could not find time to blog about my initial experience in IJN , mainly because I was too tired to do so. The working hours in IJN is long ; out from my house at 615am and for the whole of last week except Friday, I arrived home at 10pm! One of the nights, I just went straight to bed without changing!
This long awaited delayed posting( other univs send their candidates when they are in their initial 3rd year) is in a way something i look forward to. Working ( eventhough we are only known as attachment doctors) in Malaysia's most internationally recognized institute is an honour. To be a part of the team (the lowest rank la.. hahaha) is a priviledge and I hope to learn as much as I can here. The workaholic culture is amazing because everybod is very dedicated to their work and the long hours are taken as a norm and not something being loath at.

I was in the new wing OT, OT A for the whole of last week.Therefore, it was until Friday that i get to see other faces in the B OT. Due to shortage of junior attachment trainees I was paired with a Consultant Anaesthetist every day.It was initially a worrying because of course we want to perform our best to them.. hahaha pressure tu!! It was a delight to be working under 5 different consultants last week. I must say their skills are superly superior to mine..hahaha( baru setahun jagung dah nak mengaku anaesthetist) and indeed it was an eye opener to have these masterful sifus as my temporary teachers. I still have a lot to learn really.. and my experience here so far humbled me.
The cases that we do everyday is a variation of cardiothoracic cases and to see how cool the consultants manage it is something to be learnt. Macam takde apa je.. the things that we get paranoid in our usual practice! Hahahaha
The staff; staff nurses and OT techs( Anaes assistants) are very helpful and I learnt from them as well. The family feel is there and i must say IJN is a nice place to work at!!
And one more thing, the food.... they really take care of what we eat! So far.. everything is very nice and if I am not careful, I might gain instead of lose weight during this posting!!!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Menggapai Puncak Murud - Kosmo & November 2009

Menggapai puncak Murud

Keseluruhan perjalanan hari terakhir memakan masa 10 jam 15 minit dengan menempuh bukit-bukau, berperang dengan pacat dan menempuh trek balak yang membosankan.




DUA tahun berhenti mendaki gara-gara memberi tumpuan pada aktiviti pacuan empat roda (4WD), mungkin memberi sedikit kesan kepada prestasi saya dalam ekspedisi mendaki Gunung Murud di Sarawak baru-baru ini.

Membayangkan tidak mahu menjejaskan kelancaran ekspedisi, buat pertama kalinya dalam sejarah pendakian saya yang bermula pada tahun 1996, saya mengupah seorang pengangkut barang (porter) untuk memikul beg galas saya yang membawa isian kira-kira 15 hingga 20 kilogram. Alhamdulillah, percaturan itu membuahkan hasil apabila saya dapat mendaki dalam keadaan yang lebih selesa. Berikut catatan Eksplorasi Murud-Bario 2009 yang disertai 11 pendaki dan diketuai oleh Zainudin Lot (Deeno) pada 25 Oktober sehingga 31 Oktober lalu.


MENAIKI Twin Otter dari Miri ke Ba'Kelalan.


Hari pertama: Kami tiba di Miri dengan menaiki pesawat tambang murah AirAsia. Menginap semalaman di Apple Lodge memberi peluang kepada kami untuk berkenalan. Ini kerana kebanyakan daripada kami tidak mengenali antara satu sama lain.

Hari kedua: Selepas mendaftar keluar, kami bergegas menaiki teksi menuju ke lapangan terbang Miri untuk menaiki pesawat Twin Otter (Mas Wing) ke Ba'Kelalan. Pesawat yang hanya memuatkan 18 penumpang itu singgah di Lawas untuk mengambil penumpang termasuk 'penumpang' istimewa iaitu beberapa kotak ayam hidup. Di Ba'Kelalan, kami singgah di Apple Lodge milik Pak Tagal yang terkenal sebagai penanam epal. Setelah segala urusan selesai, kami menaiki dua buah 4WD menuju ke Lepo Bunga. Perjalanan meredah laluan off-road yang berbukit bukau mengambil masa 1 jam 55 minit. Tepat pukul 3.15 petang, kami memulakan pendakian ke Kem Gereja dengan meredah trek hutan selama hampir empat jam. Pendakian tidaklah sukar kerana cerun bukit tidak begitu tinggi. Kami berjalan tanpa henti sehingga tiba di pelantar papan (plank). Menurut penunjuk arah (guide), Baru Labo, 50, (Pak Baru), plank itu dibina untuk memudahkan penduduk Kristian Lun Bawang berjalan menuju ke Kem Gereja untuk melakukan upacara keagamaan setahun sekali iaitu pada bulan Julai. Namun begitu, sebahagian besar plank sudah reput, membuatkan kami begitu berhati-hati mengatur langkah. Menempuh plank memakan masa kira-kira dua jam dan sebaik tiba di hujungnya, waktu menunjukkan tepat pukul 6.10 petang. Dalam kegelapan malam dan bertemankan lampu suluh, kami meredah semula trek hutan dan 35 minit kemudian, kami tiba di Kem Gereja. Kegelapan malam mengehadkan jarak penglihatan. Hanya keesokan pagi, barulah kami dapat melihat kawasan sekitar yang dipenuhi dengan rumah-rumah kosong. Saya difahamkan, setiap penduduk Ba'Kelalan memiliki rumah di situ.


MENINGGALKAN Long Repung pada 28 Oktober 2009 pukul 8.50 pagi .


Hari ketiga: Matlamat kami hari ini adalah menggapai puncak Murud di ketinggian 2,423 meter (7,946 kaki) dari aras laut. Selepas menikmati sarapan roti canai, kami memulakan langkah pada pukul 7.55 pagi. Awal pendakian memaksa kami meredah trek berair yang membasahkan kasut dan stokin. Kesemua itu kami tidak peduli dan perjalanan naik dan turun bukit yang tidak begitu tinggi agak santai. Dalam perjalanan itu, tapak kasut Suzana Jamil (Seri), 37, hampir tertanggal. Nasib baik Ayieen Carlos Ng Ismail, 40, membawa peralatan menjahit kasut. Hampir 20 minit dihabiskan untuk 'menyelamatkan' kasut Seri. Sementara menunggu, kami berehat di sebatang sungai yang jernih dan dingin airnya sambil mengunyah 'jajan' yang dibawa. Pendakian diteruskan sehingga tiba di Kebun Batu. Kami berehat agak lama di situ sehinggakan Pak Baru terpaksa 'menipu' kami untuk menyuruh kami menamatkan waktu rehat yang panjang. "Jauh lagi puncak...ada dua jam lagi berjalan," kata Pak Baru. Hampir patah semangat saya mendengar kata-kata itu. Anehnya, setelah berjalan selama kira-kira setengah jam, kami terdengar suara riuh rendah di hadapan yang melaungkan perkataan puncak. "Pak Baru...sudah sampai ke," jerit saya. "Ya...sudah sampai. Itu puncaknya," jawab Pak Baru sambil menuding jari ke arah satu poin yang paling tinggi di situ. "Hahh...tadi kata dua jam baru sampai," soal saya kehairanan. Namun, soalan saya tidak berjawab. Saya tiba di puncak pada pukul 12.08 tengah hari dan tanpa berlengah, sesi bergambar pun bermula. Dalam ekspedisi ini, Seri berjaya menamatkan G12 iaitu menakluk sebanyak 12 puncak gunung tertinggi di Malaysia. Dr. Mafeitzeral Mamat (Dr. M), 33, dan Appaduria a/l Kuppusamy, (Uncle Appa), 62, pula berjaya menamatkan G5 iaitu lima puncak tertinggi di Borneo. Untuk sesi bergambar, kami meminta Pak Baru merakamkan gambar kami. Aksi bersahaja Pak Baru memetik kamera membuatkan kami ketawa besar. "One...two...try...," kata Pak Baru selamba sambil menghalakan lensa kamera ke arah kami. Ayat lain yang tidak akan kami lupa adalah



'Satu...dua...ketawa sikit'. Hampir sejam berada di puncak, kami kemudiannya memulakan pendakian turun dan tiba semula di Kem Gereja pada pukul 4.10 petang. Hari yang masih awal membolehkan kami berehat lebih lama.

Hari keempat: Perjalanan ke Long Repung bermula pada pukul 8.50 pagi. "Dah lewat ni...cepat siap," kata Deeno yang risau melihat kami masih berlengah untuk memulakan perjalanan. 'Kesibukan' mencari senduk kayu yang hilang membuatkan kami leka. Namun, melihat jarum jam menghampiri angka sembilan, kami bergegas mengatur langkah menuju ke Batu Linanit. Kami boleh terus ke Long Repung tanpa perlu singgah di situ. Memikirkan rugi jika tidak ke bukit itu, kami teruskan juga perjalanan ke sana. Selesai bergambar, kami meneruskan perjalanan ke Long Repung. Kami menempuh semula plank sehingga pertengahan jalan, sebelum membelok ke kanan memasuki trek hutan. Dari situ, perjalanan semakin mencabar dengan keadaan muka bumi yang pelbagai termasuk menuruni jurang yang tegak hampir 85 darjah. Kami berhenti makan tengah hari di tapak perkhemahan Pa' Balaban yang terletak di tepi Sungai Balaban. Seboleh-bolehnya, kami tidak mahu berjalan malam dan kami berjaya melakukannya apabila tiba di Long Repung pada pukul 5.10 petang.


PENULIS (kiri depan) bergambar bersama rakan-rakan pendaki di puncak gunung tertinggi di Sarawak, Gunung Murud.


Hari kelima: Perjalanan bermula pada pukul 9 pagi dan paling jauh dalam ekspedisi ini. Kami perlu menempuh bukit bukau yang tinggi dan panjang, berperang dengan pacat dan lintah, menempuh trek balak yang membosankan dan laluan kereta kerbau yang licin dan berselut. Sebagai persediaan, awal-awal lagi saya sudah menyapu kasut dan stokin dengan air tembakau. Ternyata usaha saya berjaya mengelak gigitan pacat yang banyak. Hujan yang sejak pagi tidak reda menambah kesukaran perjalanan. Selesai mendaki sebuah bukit yang tinggi dan panjang, kami terpaksa pula menempuh beberapa bukit lagi. "Pak Baru...ada berapa bukit lagi?" saya mula menyoal petunjuk arah kami yang berwajah selamba. "Ada lagi...dua atau tiga," jawabnya bersahaja. "Nanti bukit akhir, di bawahnya paya...hati-hati, jangan sampai terjatuh," kata Pak Baru lagi. Akhirnya, kami tiba di kawasan paya yang di dalamnya ada lintah. "Pijak kayu ini...jangan tersalah pijak...nanti terjatuh,'' nasihat Pak Baru. Melepasi halangan paya memberi kelegaan kepada kami yang selamat tiba di Pa' Lungan pada pukul 1.15 petang. Kami berehat agak lama di situ. Melihat panorama indah perkampungan yang dikelilingi bukit bukau dan sawah menghijau membuatkan kami berasa begitu kagum dengan alam ciptaan Tuhan. Di sini, Deeno bertemu semula dengan kenalannya, Walter Paran yang juga seorang guide. Sekitar pukul 2.45 petang, kami memulakan langkah terakhir ke Bario. Di pertengahan jalan, hujan lebat mencurah sekali gus memberikan cabaran getir kepada kami yang semakin kesejukan. Perjalanan jauh hampir mematahkan semangat. Sebaik tiba di Pa' Ukat, hati berasa sedikit lega. Ini kerana dari situ, kami hanya perlu berjalan sekitar satu jam lagi untuk sampai ke Bario. Saya bersama Ayieen, Ju dan Zian tiba di Mustafa Lodge pada pukul 7.05 malam. Ini bermakna kami telah berjalan selama 10 jam 15 minit dari Long Repung ke Bario!


PAK BARU (kiri) bersama empat orang pengangkut barang berehat di padang yang menghijau di Pa'Lungan.


Hari keenam: Aktiviti bebas di Bario dipenuhi dengan lawatan ke rumah panjang dan ronda-ronda di keliling kampung. Sebelum itu, kami menikmati sarapan cucur bilis yang dibuat daripada dua kilogram tepung gandum. "Ini siapa punya kerja...bancuh tepung sampai dua kilo," tanya saya kepada Seri. "Deeno yang bancuh...katanya malas nak bawa balik," jawab Seri. Mahu tak mahu, terpaksalah kami menggoreng cucur yang banyak.

Hari ketujuh: Sepatutnya, saya, Kak Kay dan Uncle Burn 'terbang' dahulu meninggalkan Bario menuju ke Miri pada pukul 9 pagi. Namun cuaca buruk memaksa penerbangan Twin Otter ditangguhkan sehingga pukul 2.45 petang. Lapan rakan saya yang lain pula dapat balik lebih awal apabila penjadualan semula dilakukan. Sungguhpun begitu, kami bersatu semula di lapangan terbang Miri untuk upacara penutup yang ringkas. Kami juga sempat membeli-belah di Miri sebelum berlepas pulang dengan pesawat AK 5187 ke LCCT pada pukul 8.45 malam. Ya...kami mungkin berpisah di sini, namun segala kenangan sepanjang ekspedisi tujuh hari akan dikenang buat selamanya. Insyaallah, saya berazam untuk menamatkan G12 di puncak Gunung Mulu, Sarawak pada tahun hadapan.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Xtreme week.


I'm very knackered at the moment and tomorrow I have to wake up early for my November IJN posting.It was a really busy extreme week , wet n wild!! I guess I will only write about it later. I will definitely write about both events soon...

26-30 October Bkalalan-Murud-Bario


Genting Trailblazer 1 Nov 2009