Friday, May 28, 2010

Battle conquered but war goes on..

Yup.. its end of May 2010, I'm at the end of my 4 years journey. I reviewed the entry on first day in UM 4 years ago.. my.. my.. wow, time flies really fast. I browsed through the entire 4 years anaesthesia entry- a sort of diary of what i went through doing the Master programme. In a way, I am amazed with my own stories hahaha Luckily blogging was and i hope still a phenomenon; which without with I may not have remembered or relive the moments regardless sweet or bitter in this past few years. It was hard work but the presence of excellent working environment especially my dear colleagues ; it was worth the pain! There were moments of despair but honestly, it was never a thought which put me down anytime.
I thank Allah for his graciousness; giving me the opportunity to lead the life I had. I thank him for listening to my prayers eventhough at times I may not be worthy of such blessings that he has given. Its not just about me becoming an Anaesthetist but brightening wifey and my life with the arrival of our 3 children.. all circa 2005-2009!! Hahaha.. sebelum tu cam susah lak nak dapat anak.. worth the academic stress i suppose..:)
I've learnt a lot in these 4 years; not just Anaesthesia and ICU management per say, but my different perspective of life and being matured about it. I must thank everybody in the department; not just the Profs but from the lecturers, my colleagues not just from my discipline but from various others too, nurses, supporting ataff and office staff as well. The attachment and sense of belonging is there I am sure no matter how much one wants to deny. Lots of new friendships built and I hope sustained with the presence of blogs and facebook;which no more excuses can be given for not being in touch.
I've became more academic now compared to before; a part of me which I never thought i had in me. Being in Anaesthesia UM thought me about being more independent and confident; its not easy to garner this but the responsibility held upon grew one up without one realizing it. Excellent communication skills would be the trait to improve in having a win-win situation for the benefit of patient care.
Well, I guess all this will be running through my mind when I empty my 222 locker...
Department of Anaesthesia UM 2010
My precious ones..
Who can forget Vas's virgin call.. the best-havoc call ever!!
Another smiling team pic.. post airway havoc!
THe UiTM ICU team..
Anaesthesia Day celebrations 2009
ERSA Austria 2009
Finals Intensive Course USM 2010
Men in blue.. 3 generations..

Sunday, May 16, 2010

NB 15K disaster

I recorded my worst timing ever in this years NB 15K .. worst than the first time when I was pipped by Atuk Singh at the finishing line in 2008! hahahaha of course, I can give 1000 reasons to justify my 2 hour run but the main point here is, I really need to improve A LOT if i am to survive KL Marathon end of June!!
What happened today? I was too pancit too continue my run after the 9km mark! I was literally dragging myself , fatigued and uninspired! It did not help with the hot blazing sun tearing your skin apart. I was weak mentally and physically. With that combination, recording your personal worst is unavoidable! Of course the track was hilly initially but after the half way mark it was relatively "runnable"" but ..i just cannot!

Obviously, with almost no training for the past 2 months I should expect something like this to happen. The exam stress was in its full gear and with the evening weather being unkind, it was more convenient to sit down quietly studying! Earlier I had "burn out" syndrome which made me to stop completely for one week; which became two.. and so on and so forth.. hahaha my recuperating knee was also another factor of why I choose to go easy because I want to continue running for a very long time! My training for the full monty looked good early this year; with a fairly good time in the 30K.. but after Korbu descent which took away my knee, i faltered.. Putrajaya Night run was supposed to be my "breaking virgin" run!

But hope is not lost! I still have time ..kan? hahaha Now with the exams finally over; i can concentrate to prepare myself to conquer something which I reckon I could! Malaysia Boleh!!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Success is not the key to happiness.. Happiness is the key to success

Received this article via the email. I thought it was interesting and would like to share it. I do know certain people live in oblivion and such negativity. It is quite sad to be depressed of the delightfulness of life. Its so easy to be in the self pity state ; looking at things they dont have instead of things that they have. It is easier to blame rather than admiting on ways of reconciliation. As humans, we avoid being thankful and whine on what others are perceived to have.. always better than ours.

"Happiness is something everyone wants to achieve. While on the surface people may seem to be looking for money, recognition, or other things, what they actually seek is happiness. Unfortunately, many people never reach the level of happiness they desire.

But, before we start, we should agree on something: our happiness is our responsibility. Your happiness is your responsibility. Don’t blame outside condition or other people if you’re not happy. While things around you could change and go bad, it is you who decide how you will respond to them. You can decide to be happy.
With that in mind, here are 20 ways to find happiness in life:
1. Stop comparing yourself with others
Comparing yourself with others won’t do you any good. You will either feel proud when you are above, or feel jealous and frustrated when you are below. None of them brings true happiness. So stop comparing yourself with others and simply be your best.
2. Count your blessings
There are so many things we should be grateful for, but we often forget them. When you realize how blessed you are, you will certainly be happier.We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
3. Find your inner voice
To find true happiness, you must first find your inner voice. Slow down and take some quiet time for soul searching. What will make your life meaningful? What is true happiness for you? By knowing what your heart says, it will be easier for you to align with it.
4. Reconnect with your childhood dreams
Your childhood dreams can give you clues about your true calling. So discover them and reconnect with them. Get them back into your life. Childhood dreams are important, which is why Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture is entitled Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.
5. Help someone
Giving is an essential key to happiness. While we often think that we will be happier when we receive, the truth is we are happier when we give. This is also one of the most difficult things to apply.You can apply this by finding someone in need and lending a helping hand. The person could be your family, friend, or even a stranger. You could also donate to a charity.
Happiness is like a kiss…you must share it to enjoy it.
6. Spend more quality time with your loved ones
Relationships give us happiness more than any material in the world. So spend more quality time with your loved ones. In such moments, be sure that you devote your attention to them. Divided attention (with your work, for example) will decrease the quality of the time.
There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.George Sand
7. Apply the five languages of love
Love is an important way to happiness, and the five languages of love is a helpful concept to help you apply love. By understanding yours and others’ languages of love, you will be able to build better relationships.
8. Appreciate nature
The beauty of the nature can give you peace. Go out and see how beautiful the nature is. Watch how the birds sing and the sun shines, and let you be happy once again.
9. Pray or meditate
This is one of the most effective ways to calm your mind and get inner happiness. When you feel overwhelmed, a session of praying or meditation could help you clear your mind.
10. Know yourself
You will be happier if you understand who you are. Taking personality tests or drawing a simple life map could help you recognize who you are.
11. Say thank you
Sometimes we are so accustomed to people around us that we forget to thank to them. So take a little time to do that.
12. Smile
Smiling is a very simple thing to do, and yet it has great effect. There mere act of smiling can brighten your otherwise dark day.
13. Listen more than you speak
You will feel happier not only by understanding yourself, but also by understanding the people around you. One simple way to do that is by listening more than you speak. Try to understand what the other person means before speaking out your thoughts.
14. Stop judging others
Judging others will give you bad feeling toward them and there’s nothing good about that. Instead, you should look at the positive side of them. Sometimes it’s easier to see the others’ weaknesses, but looking at the positive side will brighten their day and your day.
15. Focus on what you can control
Trying to change things beyond your control will only frustrate you. Recognize what you can and can’t control, and focus solely on the things you can control. For instance, you can’t change how people around you behave, but you can change yours. So focus on changing your own behavior instead of changing theirs.
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.Epictetus
16. Forgive yourself
Have you done mistakes in the past? We could be intimidated by our past mistakes that we can no longer live to our full potential. But you aren’t perfect, and neither is anyone else. So forgive yourself and release the burden.
17. Forgive others
Besides forgiving yourself, you should also forgive other people who did wrong to you. Not forgiving them will only hurt you. Again, you should release the burden so that you can find happiness.
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.Robert Muller
18. Accept yourself
You may have some personality traits that you don’t like. For instance, perhaps you are an introvert and you wish you are an extrovert. Or you wish you were born in a different background. This is one thing you can’t control (see #15), so just accept yourself as you are. You are unique, and that’s something you should be grateful for.
19. Know how to deal with problems
Problems will always come your way, so your happiness depends not on whether or not you have problem, but on how good you deal with them. Knowing how to stay calm and how to overcome failure will be helpful.
20. Be a promise keeper
You will find happiness if you stay true to your heart and one way to do that is by being a promise keeper. The more you keep your promise, the more you will be aligned with your conscience and the happier you will be.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Whats next eih?

Its the day after.. wow.. after all the stress; ironically am feeling boring at home!! hahaha We had our batch dinner in ShangriLa last night which was good - however i overate the oyesters that the diarrhoea struck on our back.. had to stop after the toll as it was explosive ! ( not going into detail with this aahh..)
I'm still on leave though. We are required to start work straight away but with the extra days I had, cuti je la to sort out my my messy room.
The KKM fellas are now in a bit of limbo as they wait for the ultimate meeting with the Malaysia Head- posted to places they hope to go. but usually not ! As for me, its either straight to Sungai Buloh or Selayang; however there are no hard fast rules about it. In a way, the department is pratically ours hahaha gile kuasa!! seriously, i reckon we have to sit down and put down on paper what our aims will be as a department.. I have my grandiosity and it will be interesting to see how far i can make it into reality :)

Thursday, May 13, 2010

M Anaesthesiology (UM) 2006/10

I was not sure whether i can make the cut. The exams did not go as smooth as how i imagined it to be. Viva went well i thought but that night when i was all alone in that room, i realized the few mistakes i made confidently! hahaha It was a very jittery day coming back from KB but what was done..was done. I was left with only doa and my hope.
I am on leave todayh and tomorrow. the results came out earlier than what was told earlier. Sapa tak cuak? and at 1030am I was still at home, thinking of all the things to do next especially to sort out with my employer.
"Dr Mafeitz... Susanty ni.." our Department secretary.
"Ahh.. kenapa?"
"Kat mana ni?" " rumah lagi.." i said softly.
"Tak datang tengok result ke?"
"Takpelah.. nanti mesti ada orang call bagitau.."
"Oh ye ke.." and of course, i could not resist the temptation..
"Apa result saya?" i asked..
"Nanti kawan Dr Mafeitz call bagitau..." my heart just dropped..
"COngrats Dr MAfeitz! Tahniah!!"

And i went like.. ya allah.. and i broke down.. alhamdulillah.. but i really broke down as I performed my prayers to thank god.. Thank you ..thank you..

MAfeitz Mamat

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Sleepless in KB

Its Sunday, Mother's day!! Selamat Hari Ibu untuk semua ibu-ibu!

I'm on my one day break and after the medical viva today i felt a little bit lost to restart revising for my anaesthesia viva. Especially when you're alone and away from family in this crummy hotel room opposite the brand new MYDIN in Kubang Kerian!!! I need to vent out and blogging seems a good idea!

I'm in the midst of gushing adrenaline rush facing my exams; 75% over now and for the last cruncher on Tuesday. We started our exams last Wednesday with the MCQ and SAQ. MCQ mcm biasalah ; the dilemmna to make your choice hahaha the SAQ was fair except that most candidates did not expect we would be asked on Heparin Induced Thrombocytopaenia. I thought i did ok la for those but then again, maybe its my own feeling as i cannot really remember what i wrote! OSCE was next on Thursday and the 20 questions were interesting. Managed to answer them but of course hoping that i did not misread or cock up on any of those.
Friday and Saturday was filled up with trying to cramp and blurt out the knowledge hehehe but not very succesfu though. And today's medical viva was fair but I'm not too sure about how i performed; had Hwang and LCY as the examiners and i can only hope the blunders I made during the session was forgiven.. hahaha I just cant wait for this to be over but at the same time uncertain of the outcome.. I can only pray now what is best for me..