Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Highest respect

It's about 2 am in the mornin.. n i'm still not asleep yet !! haks.. stupid.. tomorrow mornin i still have to wake up early and work again.. i just got back home at 12 midnite !

My god.. tonite was busy..in fact the whole day was too busy to describe. Too many patients comin in; gile kena kuat semangat duduk P2 i cant imagine - i reckon the worse ever working condition that a doctor can have is being in P2. hhehehehehe tADI TGH KEJE TENSION AH , skrg dha balik rasa kewl la pulak.. how in the hell did i cope with the pressure and work load ???

Anyway - my upmost respect to those who are already or buddin physicians.. my hats off to you !!! i can never be like u guys.. gile hard work.. coz at the end of it one wonders ; is it really worth it ??

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Understanding Death

Work , as if you'll live a thousand years.. Pray as if you'll die tomorrow.

A very wise statement from a wise man , the great Prophet Muhammad. To few , this isssue is taboo , to another few - it is the AIM of life.some may not even prepared to talk about it especially if it is from the new age yuppies.

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah , wafilakhiratil hasanah waqina azabannarr.

As for me , it is something that i see and handle prominently. Without fail , there will be people dying in front of me ; as evidence by last night's call.Naturally its P@ what do you expect?? My favourite uncle died after i thought he was slowly recovering from his long standing stroke and another - who came in with really bad sepsis.( infection )

Preparing for death is not easy - some may try not to think about it. I remember the plight of a HIV positive patients who was ill , whispering to me saying he is afraid to die.He saw his bedside neigbour died one by one - in his lengthy 1 month stay in the ward. he died in the end - not a pretty site though being immunocompromised - the death was very painful .. hmmmm...

Coming to terms with death is not easy. The impact is huge not just to the deceased but to the one around them. And some how , it affects one's judgement for future undertakings. I faced 2 this year.. my beloved Atuk Aki and also my unborn son.

But at the end of the day , one should not fear death, never ever.. - as it is something for sure if we believe in god , that is the qada and qdar - perjalanan hidup satu-satu roh. Paradoxically ; the beauty of it is we dont know when it can happen. We may be able to predict when but as it is not within our power - we can never know .Tawakkaltu a'lallah. The more important thing is to cherish all memories and moments while we are still breathin.. and no regrets to any of our actions ever...

Haks ..dunno i am in such sombre mood. But.. that is what bloggin is about.. rite ?

Friday, November 26, 2004

The Incredibles

Pheewwwwwwww..... It had been a very busy week ; from monday till today.. but i managed to watch the show !! hehehehe... on dvd haram of course !! Kewl cartoon movie ; definitely made for ps2 n xbox - the graphic and movements.. definitely for console freaks..

I'm very tired lorr.. so tired.. the amount of patients that osmossed thru P2 was uncommentable. Gile ramai !! Imagine - when i was on call last Tuesday - the ward was full with patients 72 beds.. canvas dah penuh sampai pintu masuk - had to call the MO in charge of A & E to really filter patients who are to be admitted to the medical ward !!!

2 of the patients under my care died.. well , can't expect much as they came in very ill. But somehow - eventhough my resuscitation record is 0% so far..no success in reviving them alive !! hehehehe mana taknya , sume dah asystole ( which means no heart beat tracing ) when i was called to attend them !! I realized that eventhough i dont like this posting at all , the experience that i've garnered so far is very useful. I'm here for almost a month , but it feels like i've been here for ages !! The workload is mad , the patients to entertain are humongous !! really testing one's patience.. I've not blown up yet as in loosing my cool lar .. cant imagine if i do one day , coz im not very nice when im that !! hehehehe kena warning sume staff nanti... DANGER LAL...

The day - post call , slept straight away when i got back .. from 6pm- 6am.. My darling wife tried to wake me up to eat.. i was unconcious by then , and guess what i answered ?? to document down my refusal to eat in the patient's file !!! hahahahaha when she told me that in the morning , i laughed like mad.. but still i am sleepy..

Even till now... till now... mmmmmm..sedapnya bantal tu...

Monday, November 22, 2004

Abang Cak

heheheheh... My dear Abang Cak.. You know what , i really really really have to post this blog.. hehehehehe still cant stop laughing ..

My dearest wife .. ( who was pissed off with the blog i wrote the other day... kuang kuang kuang..) has this thingy ; a very strange relationship with this one lizard who i fondly call Abang Cak.

Apparently , Abang cak likes to hang around in the kitchen when Haniza is there. And my god , she will scream like mad as if there is this one big lion was about to jump on her.Everytime , when abang cak comes around to have a look ; she'll run off from the kitchen and just refuses to cook. ( sometimes one wonder.. tactic kot ? hehehehe)
And she has been looking all around town to get lizard killer tablets - mcm the rat poison tu.. hehehe but obviously , you and i know there is no such thing rite ?

Anyway - today when i got back from work , the kitchen was somehow - full of insect spray smell . hmmmmm... So i went back to our room and my wife was seen sleeping. woke her up , and she told me she was exhausted and stressed. Apparently , she was in a fight with abang cak and she decided to kill him off !!!! hahahahaha and she sort of finished half of the insect spray off.. :)

Anyway , i had to do the dirty job to dispose Abang cak from the sink. that was however , without some fun of my own. She was so freaked out that , she locked our room door and was screaming ; telling me to dispose it off. hahahahaha i had my fun , playing around with the dead corpse..
My tribute to abang cak.. so small yet so empowering. You will always be remembered..

Memorable Sunday

Anak melaka gagah perkasa ,
berkunjung meminang puteri diraja,
jauh kembara hajat terasa ,
memetik sekuntum bunga teruja..

Haks.. yup , yesterday was a very memorable Sunday. My closest cousin - Nazrin or fondly known as En was officially engaged to his "sweetheart" in Subang. Indeed , their love story is very similar to the hindustan genre ; my maklong was not keen at all with En's choice. And indeed he was very loyal ; waiting for more than 6 years before maklong gave in to En..Macam2 cabaran - Maklong actually looked for a suitable daugther in-law - still En said no. hehehehhehehe Sweet isn't it ?

Earlier i told myself i WILL attend the ceremony no matter what. Managed to get the day off eventhough Sunday was active.Lucky me !!

Anyway , Uncle Hasni was our speaker ; and boy was he charming. It was really nice to hear him talk and joke around - i am observing all the talk and trades ; as i will be the next generation to do this kind of stuffs later in life !!! The bit that i liked most was when he presented our gifts ( hantaran ) and each gift was with a pantun. It was beautifully arranged and invited grin and smile from the crowd. Smitten kata sesetengah orang !! well , being from Melaka , pantun is a big thingy!!!

The ceremony went well, Maktuk slit the ring on Aleza ( En's fiancee ) and Aleza actually broke into tears. According the the gossip circle ( Kak Nazaria and elly ) ye laaaa... siksa menunggu 7 tahun !!

Congratulations En !!!! the wedding should be in 6 months time; cant wait for this wedding. I really do appreciate En's help suring mine 3 years ago !! Hang on kazen !! i will be there for you.. heheheheh most likely , i will be his best man ; if there are no objections from any quarters.. *smile*

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Reality Bites

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
letter to Marie Bonaparte, in Ernest Jones Sigmund Freud: Life and Work (1955) vol. 2, pt. 3, ch. 16

Funny though , when one reads Freud's quote - being the father of psychiatry!! I suppose his comment is relevantly universal. :)

Felling quite down at the moment.Why? Obviously - just had a disagreement ( i'm putting it very mild here... ) with you know who... Sometimes one just wonders - is this what marriage is all about ? I used to have this philosophy that marriage is about coping with each other when the tough gets going.. but man , when you're in it - it becomes so stressful and sometimes it just pushes you away , pulls you down and makes one miserable.

This cold war is slowly killing me. ON the surface it looks calm but beneath ; a volcano is just boiling up to blast. Is it really my fault ? if it is , i do pray to god to decide and let it to be for the best. The issues are old ; the issues are repetative ; it comes in all types and form.

Its so easy to feel that , one is suite to another - but from my experience one can never know.Marriage is such a gamble - sometimes the risks are calculated sometimes it is not.And the thing is , we can never know who suits us best - we can only predict but the outcome depends on the situation and qada and qadar.If you're lucky , then your gamble may pay off with multiple dividends. But if your gamble fails , then one has to decide on either to live with it or make a tangent decision. The thing is , if one is a sore loser - imagine the trouble and disharmony it can create.. fuiiiyooo...

I maybe very vague here , though bloggin may be one medium for throwing out one's feelings - there is this thin line between privacy and sharing esp about marriage life.But sometimes i do feel suffocated - in my own space ; trusting nobody to discuss what i feel , what to do. Ego ? not really - just that in reality.. I HAVE TO FACE IT.. not the one listening ; and no matter how good the listener can be , it makes no difference to any decision or any emotional turmoil in you. Correct me if i'm wrong !!!!

It is difficult when someone tries to change the other - to one's liking when reality beckons that every individual being is unique. I suppose the balance will come in when there is compromise or acceptance.The main point being ; accepting the other person the way they are. I suppose being me , a bit insensitive at times may become one of the stumbling blocks for compromise. But i cant help it do i ? thats who i am and maybe i am not suited for one job but damn good at another and requires this characteristic.

Its so easy to hurt another or being hurt - and the scar for recovery may slow to heal.to add grudges in it.. wow.. how does it really resolve ? Maybe some people are lucky ; living a fairy tale life or the best thing - not to be involve at all in marriage !! haks.. but then , life is about taking risk .. living the risk.. and see how it turns out.. so ; it's one way god is joking around with his beings...

Ok.. masa dah time.. just a bit of what i may feel from time to time.tomorrow on-call ; definitely Jonah again...

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Raya in KL

Do you know how to sew the ketupat ? heks.. well, i used to be really good at it!! Unfortunately i've let my silky skills rot for the past 2-3 years... :(

Yesterday-s raya was kewl - both me n wife went to few houses - haniza's family side. Mak Teh in Taman Permata, Pakcik Nor in Kampung bharu , MAk Uda in PJ . I've not done this for quite some time and honestly i almost forgot that raya is the time where one meets up with family and firends to catch up with their endevours. It is different from attending open houses - it is more personal . I do have to ensure that i'll do this every year as this is one way to forge strong family ties.

In the evening , went to Elly's place in |Sri Damansara. A very cosy apartment! Mama n Papa was there too.. heks.. this is our own nuclear family !! She did not prepare much as i've told her not too.. too full with the food binge !! Giller banyak makan semalam.. hehehehehehe

Uhuks.. tomorrow on to work again!! aarrgghh.. really dreading the thought of stepping into P2 again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Syawal 2004

Yup.. back from MUar.. well, on raya day itself !! had to do so as i was oncall on the 2nd day of Raya.

Me n my wife went back to Muar on Saturday - rather early morning ; the idea was to beat the traffic. We arriveD TOO early !! 10 am to be exact... only Auntie Nor n family was there besides Pak Pit. It was a new experience for my wife as we've never been back to muar on the day before raya. She has no kampung you see, both her grandparents were deceased when she was young ; so coming bAck to see tuk abah and maktuk in muar was definitely an experience. Ahaks , i've always been the manjaest grandchild so they were happy lar to see me ..haks!!

To my surprise , it was only us( plus pak pit n auntie nor's family ) on raya eve .Haniza had to be in the kitchen to help out !! haks.. something traditionally expected by the elderly automatically !!!It was certainly nice that evening during iftar - tasting maktuk's all favourite asam pedas.. the one and only and untouchable !!! Malam raya ; me , pakpit , uncle hasni and Ben recited the takbir. Wished more was there and it would have been more kewl. If my father was here, he would have led the prayers !! tapi takpe la.. anak pak mamat pun bule jugak..

My mum came back the day after , so are all the other aunties. Eventhough it was not as meriah as i used to remember when i was younger - It was kewl celebrating raya in muar. Somehow , i have this affection for kampung ; I've always looked forward to balik kampung !! somehow , i find that my kampung is really kewl !!haks.. anyway , maktuk and tuk abah really do appreciate our presence.I suppose , them being ill this past few months. Tuk abah was recently admitted to UH ; maktuk is a newly diagnosed asthma . SO one would expect their tone of conversation ; saying that dunno whether they will be around next raya. Tuk Lang ( atuk abah's younger brother ) passed away last week !! Now , it's only him and her sister left. Even on maktuk's side , only tuk tam and tuk cik left. yang lain sume dah standby up there...

I've always enjoyed the raya'ing bit. During my younger days , the whole family entourage from one house to another. it was kewl knowing your relatives that way. Honestly , it was never about the money ( duit raya ) but i've always enjoyed hearing stories about the family , where we came from - keturunan muar from the elders. I do try to be in the elders group talking rather than playing around with my cousins then .. hekks.. well , not really surprising isn't it coz i enjoy SEJARAH !!!
Anyway , everybody's ill - dah tua aah.. all the 70's age group therefore one would expect this scenario. I only hope that they will be around for the subsequents rayas as when they're gone ; the raya spirit back to kampung will be lost. I do cherish all this tradition and customs. And it was a bit of shocker to me , in realizing i did not really do my part post marriage - visiting all relatives to introduce ourselves and thank them for all their help then. SOmething that i should have hold on to... i will definitely remind my younger ones to sustain this custom-as it bonds the family unit..

Saying all this , alfatihah to Tuk Aki ( my pahang atuk ) who passed away few months back. Quite sad really coz he's the kewl atuk!! first time raya'ing without him being around physically. Somehow i will definitely miss him ; his wit and creativity. Sayang , tak sempat menuntut habis his bomoh skills ehehehehehe dapatlah sikit2 dulu... I will definitely tell about his endevours to my children and grandchildren!!

But sadly , had to break the festive mood yesterday as i was oncall. Thought that the call to be easy.. butt NNNOOOOTTTT.. did not even sleep the whole nite !! Dunno who's the jonah last nite.. me or amir !! ill patients keep coming in like water .. hahahahaha.. But alhamdulillah , nobodody died last nite. managed to keep them all alive thru out the nite.. :)

OK.. well, i just came back from work ni.. post call. biasalah mata mengantuk and heavy! Im off again for another 2 days to enjoy my raya ; never had this opportunity the last 2 years. So, sapa sapa yang baca ni.. jemput la ke rumah ekks . nothing much , just a game of Pro Evolution Soccer on PS2 !!!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Shangri La iftar.. Mentekedarah in action !!!

The 2nd last day of ramadhan - had my iftar in Shangri La.. Fuiiyoo , my first time in that prestiguous hotel. Wow.. it was really posh and nice !! It is in the centre of KL just infront of beach club and NOuvo in Jalan Sultan Ismail.

I was there on dAto Khaled's invitation ( the minister of Entrepeneur and Cooperative Development ). I was there with Mal and Rozaini. In the beginning i thought it was one of his many functions - and invited us to be a part of the function . so being me.. the food-devil..hehehehehe pergi je la..makan free sapa taknak rite ? eventhough i was a bit groggy - this was realised by dato' himself !! But then to my surprise , it was actually only the 7 of us. Me . mal , rozaini with dato khaled , his son and his 2 secretaries ( political and press ). I was flattered mah.. baik menteri nih ajak buka puasa!!

We'll i've known him for 2 years and he is one down to earth minister. I did write 2 speeches for him and i was rewarded with rm2000 for my heidelberg trip last year !!! haks.. but since becoming the minister he is a bit bz - so our meet up had been non - existence for the past 1 year. Than you Dato !! it was a nice meal..tahun depan nak lagi ek.. hehehehehe ( last year it was in Mutiara Hotel )

Hehehehe nice je ?? I ate like mentekedarah !! my belly was full i felt like it almost burst!! hehehehe but most of it was because of my extra keen consumption of drinks - toooooo thirsty with the hell job since last nite !!! Mal was the winner this year - he ate lots of the chocolate fountain thingy !! it was really cool . what they did was having this fountain - where water was replaced with chocolate flow. all we need to do is take the assorted biscuits and dip it in !! really kewl.. of course being me.. i experimented with the water melon..pine apple and chicken bits.. hehehehehehe

It was kewl - the meet up was informal and fun !! haks.. end up with mal for i hour sitting in the lobby - trying to load the full belly down !! haaakkss..

I'm going back to kampung tomorrow in Muar. So dear friends and keen avid bloggers. Salam Aidilfitri. Ampun dan maaf dipinta , yang dahulu kini dan akan datang. *smile*

THe passing of ramadhan

Wow.. time just went by like that. Tonite is the last nite of ramadhan , bulan keberkatan is almost over. Geee.. feeling a bit guilty because this the first ramadhan where i missed most of the tarawikhs due to my work schedule. I did not do much ibadah this month , a bit rugi i felt. Well , typical of me , bila terhantuk baru nak mengadu.. Anyway , i pray to allah to forgive all my sins and my wrongdoings and do guide me to follow the right path.. insya-allah.

Last night's call was a bit jonah ( medics vocab : the unlucky.. )dont think it was me but my senior MO on call !! Patient kept coming in from 5 pm till late. and one 72 year odl chinese man died in the ward after an attack of hypoglycaemia. Pity him as his renal malfunctioned and caused his death. It was quite touching to see all his 3 children paid their last respect when the ecg went flatline.. hmmm.. dunno whether i can be calm when i am in the same position one day...

Then at about 1 am , a 38 year old indon came in with complaints of fever and letharginess for the past 1 week. He developed a very bad rash on his trunk and limbs and became bedriddn and confused for the past 2 days. I was dead worried about this patient collapsing on me - so was quite agressive in callin here and there - trying to manage the patient. My MO was a bit bz upstairs so i updated her thru the phone from time to time.He was sverely dehydrated and was not really responsive to my calling. His past history was not obtainable as it was his brother in law , sister in law who brought him to the hospital. Tried to insert a CBD ( medic vocab - the tube thru the penis to the bladder.. sounds aduuiiss isnt it..hehehe ) and he had a stricture !! i was unable to push it in thought of shoving it in but dont want to cause such trauma early in the morning.. I was thinking of Meningicoccal meningitis , but i did not take that much of extra precaution when i was touching him. this is a very deadly infective disease you see.

Apparently during morning rounds - My boss ( Chris Lee.. nope not the drakula chap.. hehehe ) freaked out when he saw the patient was gasping for air. He shouted for me , but i was glad that i documented what i did ( almost 2 pages ) so he was a bit satisfied with my management. He eventually smashed and roasted my mO. Kesian lak kat dia. And guess what the patient had to be intubated and brought to ICU. And i had to take a strong antibiotic to cover myself from this deadly disease that can be emmitted by touch , fluid.. damn.. i wasn't really proecting myself last nite !!!

Anyway , during the morning rounds i was so stoned and really sleepy. Hek , my call was ok in general but it was equally bad .. hehehehe but the next time a meninggococcal menigitis admitted to my ward - i know what to do.. :)

Thursday, November 11, 2004


YOu know what.. this was my favourite song during my UK years 1994 - 1998.. and by who ? yess.. FEMININ.. hakss.. i know most people would like sort of tell me ..WHAT ??? WHY ?? GODDD !!! THEM ??
dunno why REALLY.. funyy.. but my philosophy then was kalau org lain tak suka.. takpe la.. kita suka.. hehehe coz guess who's the other famous artist during the 90's who i liked.. yes.. the DANGDUT OF AMELINA . hehehehehehe please dont puke !!!Maybe i'll post her famous songs lyrics for your reading .. hehehehehehe

Angin bayu membawa diriku
Sepintas lalu ku terkenangkanmu
Memori silam meresap malam
Kenangan bersama tersimpan selamanya

Walaupun kau pergi jauh dari diri ini
Cintaku masih bersemadi di hati
Keyakinan kita kan kembali
Menghidupkan semula janji bara cinta

Kita bersama mengejar mimpi
Terpisah sementara kupasti
Suatu hari nanti
Cinta kita bersemi
Kembali menerangi
Mekar di taman hati

Walaupun jauh pandangan mata
Kuyakin kau kan tetap setia
Begitulah ku jua
Keikhlasan di jiwa
Dan cintaku hanyalah

Saban hari diriku menuggu
Khabar berita darimu di sana
Gerimis senja kembali reda
Kerinduan di jiwa
Kau jadi penawar

Rinduku padamu tak dapat ku terkata
Setiap saat waktu bagai terlalu lama
Bila kita kembali bersama
Hiduplah semula
Janji bara cinta

Mimpi yang dikejar telah pun menjadi nyata
teristimewa untuk anda semua...


Haks.. its deepavali tomorrow. So to our hindu believers.. happy deepavali. sapa-sapa yang mandi minyak in the morning , please use the ointment with good smell.. hehehehhe..

by the way , FYI - this is one of those years where my birthday is NOT ON deepavali !! haksss.. i dunno why but deepavali occurs too often on the 24th of october hehehhehe like last year 2003. i was embarrased about this fact when i was younger hehehehe biasalah , anything associated with DKK was deemed sensitive. hehehehe dont we all ??? thats why we love snakes better... *smile*

Anyway ,its public holiday tomorrow and guess what , i'm on call...again.. sigh. well , not really looking forward to go to the wards tomorrow morning - seriously ,this is actually the posting i dread most to serve in. During my previous postings i was comfortable , but not now in medicine.. somehow my interest is not so much on General medicine. It does help my career as a locum doctor but naah.. not that dedicated to spend my life doing. But i do feel that the procedures being done here in P2 will help me a lot in my future posting in anaesthesia.
No wonder my wife dreaded life in general medicine , no matter which level you are ho ke specialist ke - you work like 7 days per week. i suppose the reason being its HKL , the so called tertiary centre of medical treatment in malaysia !! but i do give my respect to those who chose to be commited to this discipline.

For you guys who's not really clear what i'm talking about ;there are 2 types of mazhab in the doctor's world ( pretty isolated..). Medicine and Surgery. Medicine is general medicine ie.. you deal with all kind of diseases - very broad coverage. from the likes of simple fever to the complex myocardial Infarction.it is the core and basic of all doctors. Surgery deals with chopping and cutting out human organs. YOu either fall into one of this two categories.Usually medicine fellas are the smarter ones academically - having broad knowledge ,the mighty KUmar and Clark on your finger tips . Inlooking for the diagnosis , they have to think the logical reasoning with their vast knowledge in finding out the cause of the problem. Surgery fellas are smart too but they are more oriented into stat action.And it requires multiple skills in the operating theatre.

Which category do i fall into ? well , i kinda like the action part .thats why i hate medicine - need to know lots and i know for a fact i am not that smart. Funnily , i fell in love with paediatrics when i was doing that posting.It is actually equivalent to medicine only it deals with "small" people which can be more complicated !!! Dunno why , maybe because i am comfortable with kids and somehow enjoy them heheheehe. its either you like it or you really hate it. Imagine , having to suck out blood from the tiny fingers and hands !!! not easy wooo .. but i dont really mind that.. thats why i was sort of focused in taking the MRCPCH earlier( which was not that successful!! ) . however - as i went thru the other postings ( OnG and surgery) , i found anaesthesia( bius in malay ) to be really kewl. They are the fellas who we refer to when you dunno what to do with ur patient ie.. patient's condition getting worse like dying soon.. hehehehe . so now, i'm in two minds - in deciding which discipline to take up. After 3 months of medicine , i want to be posted in anaesthesia. and i reckon that then , will i only know whether i am suitable for it.

N so far in medicine , ive been doing procedures to equip myself before anaesthesia. I've been doing all the insertion of complex intravenous access to patients!! somehow not 100% success everytime but hey.. one needs practicwe to be good right !! heks.. i guess in P2 is the best place to practice these skills and i believe that god had put me in P2 for a reason.. ( heks.. ni kira nak buat sedap hati sendiri ahh.. )

ok lar gang.. need to go to sleep. am on the whole day n nite tomorrow. will write one more blog before raya. a reflection sempena aidilfitri 2004 *smile*

Saturday, November 06, 2004

MY luck with nice shoes..

YOu know what , maybe i was not born to wear "branded" shoes. Today , just had my timberland keletak keletuk stolen. It caught me by surprise when i finished my friday prayers. Damn. I did not expect it to happen today - or ever actually, been wearing the same shoe for the past i year.. rugi giller. Before this , i had another pair of shoes which was really good , apa lak nama brand die.. lupa ah.. but it was really comfy.. but it got stolen during raya 2002 - in my mother in laws place.. hmm maybe i'm not fated to have these shoewear for show.. sedih la jugak..

Anyway , today in p2 was quite interesting - tried to resus 1 patient for nearly 1.5 hours !! the reason because he is our health minister's relative.. we cant stop the CPR from 5 - 6.30 pm - until the daughter actually came to tell us in stopping the ressuscitation . gile lama.. my longest and most unsuccesful attempt ! haks.. but i got to zap the poor old guy quite a number of times. usually i'm the one doing the cpr and the simple things , but tadi dapat la pegang pedal tu and zap.. hehehehe kelakar coz both my specialists were there to revive the patient !!

Ok lar..its quite laten now..came back home at about 11 pm but then cant seem to sleep now.. tomorrow will be another long day !!!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Life in P2 , HKL

So tired aahh...

Ahaks , you know what ??? the one thing i dreaded most being in HKL became real to me last monday. Started my first day as junior MO in HKL in the medical posting !! the one i dont want to get myself into. But i had no choice , somehow i was deceived by the dr in charge - thought that i was going to be posted in NeuroSurgery.. but instead !! i was so pissed off when i saw the letter ; she recommended me to be posted in the MEDICAL department. bi..h !!!!! I was not happy then and i did express my thoughts to her. I will definitely push myself to the anaesthesia department by the 2nd month in Medicine. btw - i will be posted there for 3 months.

And of all the wards - i was placed in P2 - THE NIGHTMARE ON PAHANG STREET !! hahahaha 3rd class male ward - THE FAMOUS P2 .. The ward'S condition is.. haaakks.. macam gudang perang bang !! Any of you who'd been to HKL and P2.. yups.. you'll be surprised that in this millenium , there is such ward - in its own "unique"ness to still be present !! the condition is ..aarrghh.. dah la panas.. hhehehehe Seriously , i think one will be more sick after being admitted to the ward and one would rather prefer to have their stay short here !! hakss.. i was only able to go back home at 11 pm that day !!! damn.. missed the anticipated iftar with the TTDI pemuda boys in KGNS.. Sorry DIl !!!! My deepest apologies.. :(

And i am under Dr Badrul , the well known specialist amongst HKlians who can sometimes be mean to people. Well , you know - one of those fellas who you love to hate. But so far , i dont think i will be having any problem with him.. hehehehe so far ok lar.. and did my fisrt call yesterday.. perrgghhh... Menangis dik.... the amount of patients pouring into the ward was nightmare !!!! Gila ramai masuk at one time.. i'm glad that i have done my 3 postings.. coz somehow , i am not to anxious no too stressed out... :)

Btw - the patient i clerked yesterday at 2 pm - known case of PTB having shortness of breath collapsed in front of me !! he was cold and clammy.. haks.. shit man .. he was perfectly well before that.. and guess what , even though it was not entirely my fault.. i missed the pneumothorax on chest x-ray !!!!! and his lungs were expanding like mad when we intubated him.. Chest tube was inserted and he recovered... for a while.. when i came back at 10pm , was shocked to be told that the patient died.. and it is not really due to him being non-salvagable.. its just that the ICU ( the anaes team) called him at 8.30 pm when he stopped breathing at 8 pm !! kesian nurse tu dok bagging 2.5 jam .. hehehehe

Oklah , dah nak dekat time for break fast.. haks , will definitely have lots of _2 stories to tell.. :) Salams..