Friday, December 31, 2004

Kamcheng 3 coming

Dil , myself , Mafiz , Fiqar and Azad glancing through our memories... Megat came later

The gang met up yesterday. From 9 pm to 2 in the morning !! It had been a while since we last meet up and enjoyed ourselves together. The MMBUUAAHH laughter is the trademark. hahahahaha we were loud i can tell you.

The night start out at ikmal's place. Dunno what got into his head to orgasmise.. eh silap.. heks.. to organize a yassin recital session. We actually did that!! i suppose the tsunami must have some kind of effect on mal.. heks..

Then , we proceeded to looking through the old pics.. 10 years back.. my god.. WE WERE SO THIN BRO !! hahahahaha.. can't imagine really seeing myself so dark , as how AZAD put it.. MACAM KELING !!!! hahahahah

As everybody was a bit hungry , we went to MOHsin the original ( belakang MOFAZ ) dah lah bising , we ate like the mentekedarah again !!! 6 rounds of tandoori , everybody with their Nan and DIl with his 2 apams and 1 telur !!! we ate and laughed the whole night , in the end , the so called discussion bout the plan next weekend was about 15 minutes , the rest... catching up and LAAAUUGHH.. LAUGHHH.. LAUGGHHHH...

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

VIVA MALAYSIA !!!!! Mas 2 - Indon 1

Khalid Jamlus , the chief striker.. our new "Zainal Abidin".. though lembab but the hope is always there...

Who would have thought , our team could actually pull an upset in enemy's territory ? I am so proud of Malaysia with their handsome win of 2-1 in Indonesia's soil. Who would have thought the likes of us , to win in such a grand way?? Scoring against a team who's had clean sheet in the group matches ???

Honestly , eventhough i am a keen supporter but i did not expect this result. I can say that we were lucky to win the game. Those who watched the game last night might have thought that the onslaught was coming having Indon scoring in the 6th minute. Such frustration to see our boys conceding an early goal due to a STUPID mistake by the centreback !!

Somehow , our team had a good BOMOH. Kurniawan missed 2 absolute goal chances. Then , out of nowhere Liew Kit Kong scored a fantastic flying header after the indon defender slipped. His second goal was comical - very takraw should you say !!! In the 2nd half there was this one situation when Firman just needed to tap 5 meters from the absolute OPEN GOAL MOUTH and he rocketed the ball away ?????? !!!!!
But then what the heck , it is not always that Malaysia have such luck !!!!! And at the end of the day , the results that counts not the way you play !!

C'MON FELLAS !!! LETS GO IN FULL FORCE AND SUPPORT OUR TEAM IN THE 2ND LEG ON HEW YEARS DAY !!! Bule balik indon la indon !!!!! hahahahahahaha

Tsu.. who ??? Boxing Day to remember...

The word tsunami is actually quite sexy to me hehehehe .It sounds like some japanese girl's name. But boy , the destruction it can cause is massive.

Malaysia was affected by this penomenon during the weekend. Very rare indeed , i believe it is the first ever major natural disaster that affected the whole country. The last count i heard - 51 of our countrymen died , My condolonces to their families. Penang , Langkawi , Perlis and Kedah was badly hit by this unsuspected disaster.It was obvious in the amateur video shot caught by one of our tourist in penang , everyone was sort of just looking and feeling relaxed ABOUT IT till the biggie came and swept them off...

the scene from Tanjung Tokong road , Penang..the aftermath

Where was I when it happened ? Amazingly being on the 4th floor of HKL , we didn't feel a thing at that 9am. I was doing rounds with Wan in CCU. Wan received an sms telling about the quake. I laughed at Wan and told him that what a cheap line for a girl to woo him. I did not realize about this phenomenon until i met my parents in TTDI at night when I actually saw the news.

In retrospective , these phenomenons are manifestation of god's greatness. Imagine , wiping off places like Phuket .. just like that within minutes.Repentance and fear of god should be more obvious after these major disasters.
My wife was asking me , why am i so relaxed about it and not like sort of afraid as these manifestations are signs of the nearing of kiamat ?? haks.. Well , its just me.. Quay sera..sera..

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Christmas memories..

Read something on the net / paper regarding how the ENGLISH considering christmas as just another holiday instead of a religious obligation. Guess what, it reminded me of my time there about 10 years back. wow.. that long huh.. :)

Come christmas, it will always be remembered as special times.Everybody's aura will be cheerful despite the awful weather. TV programmes were excellent. The TV guide became the "bible" from the 24th till New Year. Central town will be at a standstill. We will wait for the stores to open up post Boxing day - Christmas sale !! and i will be going aorund town looking for the best bargain for footie jerseys..

Honestly , tiba-tiba cam rindu lak. Just bought the "non" original version of Robbie Williams greatest hits for rm7 in UPTOWN.. and the songs played reminded me of my time there. Shrewsbury.. Leicester.. Manchester.. London... Wow.. the memories suddenly flashed in front of my eyes.

Indeed my 4 years overseas was sweet. Somehow i nearly almost forgot how the things that i had to go through when i was there made me wiser , composed and fatter !!!! hahahahaha . It was about starting life , living up to expectations and accepting fate. I've never regretted anything from my life there.Everything was wonderful and pleasant !!!

Well , hopefully one day i will get my chance again to stand along the corridor of my boarding house - Ingram's Hall in Shrewsbury. passing through the cricket / rugby / footie pitch to the school building and serenading by River Severn watching the boat race in summer. As well as to arrive in Picaddilly station manchester - and rush downtown to Arndale centre ; taking a bite of the famous corn ; tuna and mayonaise.. and then take the bus along university road to Rusholme , eating out my favourite Kebab with mango chadni *smile*

Wow.. such beautiful memories.. remains eternal...

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

New year 2005 and Kam - Cheng

Mal came over to the ward today. He was driving through town and somehow something triggered him to call me. hehehehehe He was in P2 today and i suppose it must have been one hell of an experience seeing the havoc helter skelter 3rd class male ward !!

Anyway , we went for dinner after i've done ( about 11 pm ) and he gave this one interesting idea. He was planning for a Kam-cheng reunion in PD / any place suitable in january. It will be at the same time 2 of our founding member , Azad and Mafiz's birthday !! the plan is for a weekend getawat together - renting a banglo and organize a bbq and sleep over .. Interesting isn't it ???

Malam Kam Cheng was initiated in 1991 - it was just after our SRP. It was basically a bbq party for the guys. It was held at twin Megat's place. Members of ist kam cheng was azad , mafiz , juwie , fiqaR , mal , megats , sharil-chip , lan-tipah and me. Guest of honour was Ustaz Ahmad and Cikgu Azhar.It was a memorable nite .. NO GIRLS.. but we managed to enjoy ourselves. It was self organized and kewl party !!!!

Malam Kam Cheng 2 was held at Mafiz's place in 1997. It was actually more to post form 5 SMTTDI reunion. Few of the original kam cheng members were not present as they were in their respective unis.. eg Azad was in UUM then , we actually did an IRC session , Mal was in Australia , Megat Edrus too.. and girls were invited to this at this time.

Well , kewl plan.. hopefully it will be materialised .. it'll be really..really kewl.. *smile*

Friday, December 17, 2004

Back to life.. back to reality..

Waaahh .. time flies very fast. Today was my first day back at work after four days resting . Wished that i can prolong my holidays. Didn't feel like going to work this morning.

I am currently posted in CCU. ( Cardiac/coronary care unit ) which is the ICU for patients having heart attack . Not that many patients - maximum 10 as they are the ones that needs to be monitored closely. remember Tun Zahir ? he passed away here recently. Anyway , i learnt a lot today even though it was my first day here. Work is less hectic but the amount of knowledge and experience that one needs is vast before one wants to manage the CCU.

Good 1st day even though it was a bit jonah having all beds occupied. Nobody died on me today so that's a good sign. There were few potentials but will have to see tomorrow morning whether my predictions were true.

I believe , being here in CCU is a stepping stone towards Anaesthesia. Managing CCU is very similar to managing ICU. I managed to put in an arterial line today which was a first for me. Quite proud of that actually. hehehehehe.. The nurses here are very experienced and i believe i will learn a lot from them during my short stint here.

Thursday, December 16, 2004 16 Dec 2004 / Malaysiakini 17 Dec 2004

Ok. my article is out on and malaysiakini. Didn't get through utusan / bharian because on the same sitting there was this other article which was better than mine. I would agree with the editor to publish his article as it was more well researched.

Anyway , jadikla kan ade gak org publish my article. to view :

Kalau2 nak tengok my previous articles on paper / net do browse through
tapi yang ni kena jadik member dulu la. I cant change the setting for all my files to be publicly viewed.

ok cheerios.

Movie reviews...

Since working in HKL , i've seldom watch movies. I used to be a movie bum, watching everything new in town and from UPTOWN.. hek..hek. I used to know and i can give you ratings for which movies to watch and which movie to get away from !! Even now , i do try to catch up - but my medical life is so occupying that i decide to rest and sleep whenever i;m not in the hospital. I bought quite a number of vcds/dvds but - somehow have not yet quite finish them till now. the thing is.. whenever i see this haram boys around , i kept buying without really knowing when i can actually watch them !!!

As i am on leave and free from hospital work for the past 3 days , been reviving my late hobby !! haks.. watched Alexander in cinema , Ocean 12 and NAtional Treasure at home. Decided to watch Alex in the cinemas because of it being an epic movie. if i am to watch it at home , chances are i will sleep thru the movie !!

Well , i;ve always adored epic movies especially those potraying history and myths. ( eg TROY early this year ) . I;ve always known that Alex is great , i mean his name is mentioned in the Quran by god. He was mentioned as a great leader and the one who jailed the gogs between 2 hills.
But this movie potrayed him as GAY !! haks.. i suppose Oliver Stone has his own ideas why he wants to potray him that way. Overall , the movie was ok - ish.. could be made better ; but i suppose even in our history books - his adventures has lots of loopholes and i suppose Mr Stone is not willing to fill in all the gaps.

Kewl movie. very hip. but dissapointing. the plot is a bit funny - dunno why the team was obliged to pay back the ones they stole in the first movie. A bit hap-hazard like KILL BILL but the impact is not as good as KILL BILL. Overall the movie was fun but a bit boring at times. One has to see the first movie to understand this sequel.

One REALLY kewl movie !!! New age indiana Jones. A MUST SEE for HISTORY BUFFS. Its kewl how they try to link american independence history with a fantast treasure trail.But be careful esp to my muslim readers , please understand what freemason stands for before watching. The adventure trails were fast and exciting ; and the way the puzzles were made and broke was really kewl. i can foresee them having nicholas cage as the new age indiana jones. :)

And btw - the STAR WARS EPISODE 3 trailer was really kewwll.. haaaakkk.. cant wait , though i was a bit dissapointed with the title.. REVENGE OF THE SITH ??? Macam B-grade porn movie punya title.. hehehehehe

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Malaysia qualified for TIGER CUP Semi finals !!!

Tonight's game was breath taking . It was nice to see the malaysia spirit still alive in our national football team - mediocre they may be but it is our team after all- TEAM MALAYSIA !!!! Please NEVER compare the quality between our national team and the EPL / SPANISH LA LIGA / ITALIAN LE SCUDETA teams .. our national team plays crap football but that should not be the reason NOT TO SUPPORT our TEAM !!! VIVA MALAYSIA !!!!!

It was a good turn-around. We were down by 1-0 at half time . Out of nowhere , Khalid Jamlus ( our current chief striker ) scored 2 important goals. I suppose this is his best contribution so FAR as his previous games were really appauling.Especially against Myanmar when we played really crap stuff. The striker i adore - Akmal Rizal is down injured - recuperating from his surgery.

I am a hardcore Mesia fan , and Tiger cup brings a lot of memories. I was there in KALLANG ROAD STADIUM , SINGAPORE in 1996 when Malaysia lost to THailand 1-0 in the first edition of TIGER CUP. Azman Adnan was our chief striker then but he was a dissapointment in the finals.

It was good to see them win last night , was not in the stadium but i watched it with passion at home. I was JUMPING LIKE MAD when Khalid scored the second goal. What a relief !!! YESSS !!! even though i must say the young THai team displayed a poor game - that should not be the reason to undermine our team... :)

For the semis.. i will definitely make it a point to be present in the stadium. Eventhough our current team in this competition is not the best team assembled , but for the Malaysia Boleh spirit , we must all be in the stadium to cheer !!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004


wrote this article in response of the current issue by KKM.The last article i wrote was published in malaysiakini early this year.after that , not that active!! Sent this article to utusan , bharian , and malaysiakini. not sure whether it will be published or not but .. you have the pleasure to read it first on my blog !!!


Rakyat Malaysia seharusnya berfikiran terbuka dan
tidak mudah melatah apabila sesuatu idea baru yang
radikal diutarakan.Sikap sebegini masih nyata apabila
ramai pihak membantah cadangan Kementerian Kesihatan
untuk "mencuba" idea mengurangkan pembaziran dengan
pemansuhan sementara pemberian ubat percuma di 2
pusat perubatan Kerajaan.PIhak pembangkang ternyata
bersorak gembira dengan isu baru yang boleh
dimanipulasikan dan mengelirukan rakyat.

Idea ini sebenarnya merupakan salah satu daripada
sumbang saran bagaimana untuk menampung perbelanjaan
kesihatan yang ditanggung kerajaan. KOs perubatan
yang disubsidi kerajaan bertambah setiap tahun
dalam nilai jutaan ringgit. Ramai tidak sedar ,
perkhidmatan perubatan yang diberikan oleh Kementerian
Kesihatan Malaysia merupakan antara yang termurah
di dunia.Kerajaan sebenarnya sudah terlalu lama bermurah
hati namun dengan perkembangan dan kemajuan negara ;
perubahan dinamik diperlukan di mana rakyat tidak
boleh terlalu bergantung kepada kerajaan.Rakyat perlu
lebih bertanggungjawab bukan sahaja kepada diri
sendiri tetapi kepada keperluan negara.

Argumen yang menyatakan bahawa pengguna
perkhidmatan kesihatan itu kebanyakannya dari
golongan miskin di luar bandar sememangnya satu
fakta. Namun , apa yang dilakukan oleh kementerian
sekarang tidak perlu disalah ertikan kerana sudah
pasti golongan yang susah akan dibantu.Itu
bukan persoalannya mengikut dasar kerajaan kita sendiri.
Lihat sahajalah , pusat perubatan percubaan yang
dilakukan - di 2 buah tempat di mana rata-rata penduduknya
berkemampuan dari segi ekonomi . Kajian sebegini penting ,
kerana dengan analisa teliti itulah yang bakal
menjadi fakta untuk tindakan dan susulan seterusnya ;
bukan hanya bercakap berdasarkan omong-omong kosong.
Rentetan cadangan kementerian kesihatan ini sepatutnya
menjadi cabaran kepada universiti-universiti tempatan
untuk melakukan kajian balasan dan menerbitkannya dalam
jurnal-jurnal perubatan di Malaysia dan antaranbangsa.
Apabila ini berlaku maka perbincangan secara intellektual
dapat dilaksanakan dan bukan sekadar mengikut emosi semata-mata.

Kita perlu sedar dan berwaspada , dalam meniti
globalisasi banyak perkara yang perlukan rakyat Malaysia
lebih prihatin.Cara perkhidmatan kesihatan awam yang
diberikan sekarang tidak mampu lagi untuk menampung
sepenuhnya kehendak orang ramai.Jurang perkhidmatan
di antara yang kaya dan yang miskin terlalu berbeza nilainya.
Rakyat perlu lebih bertanggungjawab dalam memastikan
perkhidmatan yang terbaik diberikan kepada semua lapisan
masyarakat. Satu sistem perkhidmatan yang berbentuk insurans
"ala - Malaysia " perlu diwujudkan bagi kepentingan
semua sebenarnya.Sekiranya tidak , maka yang dikejar
tak dapat , yang dikendung berciciran.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Rare moments..

Wahh.. its about 9 am ++ now..

i'm on leave till thursday. NIkmatnya ya allah , bule bangun lambat. hakss.

I really do need this leave. A bit tired of all ward work and patient care. In fact , too busy that I haven't visited Dil yet to celebrate his baby - well , DOG-tors life mahh . hehehehe

anyway , i dont really have any concrete plans this time around. Initially , i did thought of going somewhere as what me n my wife used to do . We go on a retreat in beautiful resorts but this time around she is a bit busy with her studies - mocks and exams coming soon.

PLAN A must go on.that i reckon will be the main agenda this coming 4 days.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

The Stigma

I was in charge of the Infectious Diseases unit for the past 2 days - replacing my colleague who had to take leave because of an accident. It is quite a pity as she had a needle prick injury.. ( she accidentally poked herself the needle she used on a HIV positive patient) and she is 6 months pregnant.

it was a bit of disaster as the risk of her being infected is there however remote it is. Saw her crying in her car when we told her to go home and rest - initially she put up a brave face in front of us but i cannot imagine her anxiety and worry.Lets pray for her and her baby..

In reality - being in the Infectious Disease unit in HKL means you have to take care of those with HIV Positive ( former drug addicts mostly).Being immunosuppressed they are easily infected by the simplest organisms that you and i carry.SImple things like TB is common as well as parasitic brain infection ( eg toxoplasmosis meningoencephalitis )!!! IMagine , me sneezing at them today and they caN DIE tomorrow because of that !!!

If you see them on the street , you would classify them as sampah masyarakat - but here they are in the ward - getting the best and most expensive treatment by the ministry. i may be prejudice but i am not sure whether they are worth the trouble that we take. As physicians it is not for me or you to judge - and in my line of duty - i have to serve regardless. Which becomes such a dilemmna .

My mood for the past 2 days was awful and i feel sorry for those who had to take my temper. hehehehehe.. Today was blood taking day and you can imagine the agony of taking their blood with all the risk at hand ; as well as the difficulty which is YA Allah.. susah giller cause most of their lines are thrombosed and collapsed.

But when one ponders if one is in their shoes ; the treatment that we give is in fact a chance for them to salvage what is left. We can only try - being the messenger and not god on deciding who's good and who's bad. Maybe they were the worst of the worst , but they are humans too and deserve to be treated as such.Typical us ;human beings - we tend to stigmatised and have some sort of resentment against the odd ones . Well, something about life that i learn during this medical posting. but honestly , i dont think i can tahan being in this unit, its just not for me... :) to those who are dedicated in this field , my salute to you guys..

Tribute to Eza'Dil JUniOr !!


DIl ( a close friend of mine ) delivered.. hek.. i mean his wife delivered a beautiful baby girl yesterday morning !!! haks.. ALhamdulillah syukur..
Well , i was on call yesterday so i was not able to visit them in Pantai .. sorry dil !! but i did send my congrats sms to him..

guess what, when i received the msg i was actually doing CPR for one of my patients who just decided to collapse early in the morning !! haks.. tu la ceritanya dil , this i well tell your daughter one day...

"you know.. when you were born .. your dad txt me when i was reviving a patient !!!!"

Congrats again dil from me and my dear wife... will be visiting you soon ..*smile*

p/s wished that myfzal was around to celebrate his future peer..

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Death in Line scare

I was doin my usual clerking of patients in my busy ward ;early mornin of December 4th - when suddenly my sis called me at 4 am.

"Lal.. dapat msg dari kak nazaria tak? "

i asked what msg? " Atuk..masuk hospital kat muar. sakit tenat.. doktor cakap bila-bila masa je boleh meninggal... "
my heart just went sinkin.. and i was not able to concentrate.

At about 8 am , i rushed back to Muar with my wife to see how my grandfather is doing. I presumed that the doctor in Muar had issued a DIL ( Death in LIne) which means that there is a possibility of death during his current stay in the hospital.

My grand-dad , an 81 year old known chronic smoker has a history of multiple admissions to the several hospitals over the years with recurrent pneumonia ( lung infection ).the last admission was in UM 6 weeks back where at that time he presented with left ventricular failure ( aka heart failure )symptoms.

Most of my mum's siblings were there ( xcept her !!! ) and when i saw atuk he was breathless- using his accessory muscles to breath. Upon seeing the records - it was noted that he had a bad acidosis when he came in .Unlce Malik , Auntie HA , Pak Pai , Auntie Non , Auntie Nor were all there and everybody was anxious. PakU and MakCU together with Maklong were the more concerned ; being defensive of their actions taken yesterday in bringin my grandpa to doc's attention.

Hospital MUar now is known as Hospital Pakar Sultanah Fatimah. Its new complex is impressive and the hospital compound is kewl. Dont mind being here one day.. *smile*

To my surprise - i met KAti , an old friend from USM Med School and currently he is the one treating my grandpa . haks !! my dear wife was not too happy with the management , and offered her differential opinion which was certainly more logical !! but we have to respect the specialist's point of view in managing the problem. haks.. i told haniza before that she was more gifted in medicine rather than radiology.. dunno whether she realized this fact or not !!!

Anyway , in one way atuk improved a lot as the day went by. He was able to speak and smile when we last saw him !! the funny thing was , his usual self was evident , when after being given money .. he said , DAPAT DUIT BANYAK2 NI SIHAT LAH NANTI !! and it drew laughter to all !!

It was a tiring day. i suppose the presence of me and my wife lifted some doubt and anxiety regarding his condition. Haniza had a sore throat - having to explain time and time again regarding atuk abah;s current state of health. Dah jadik family doctor la cam ni.. heks.. but i dont mid pickin up the responsibility as i feel that it will help to ease things and to explain the true facts about his condition.My extended family are emotional people you know.. heks..

We had to adjourn in the evenin ; as i have to work on SUnday. hmm.. dont really wanna go but have to. Atuk's condition - i cant really say.. he looked like he is improving but i've seen patients who just suddenly deteriorates . I cant say really about his prognosis.Pending maybe the best description for now .. but i'm quite ready if he has to go but i pray to god , to make it easy for him , insya- allah when the time comes..

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Anfield Magic !! Mellormania !!

Haks.. yesterday i forgot to comment on Liverpool's win over Arsenal !!! Yeah !! I was about to be tired with my Liverpool love-hate relationship . I am a keen supporter of the scousers you see... but at times , the team test your patienceto the maximum. But then , tak main ah loncat2 katak SETIA SELAMANYA !! haks.. and of course the wait was worth it !! we won against Arsenal with Melor's curling kick !! HAks.. you'll never walk alone..

i WAS IN Anfield (THE PICTURE ABOVE )in 1997 - masa tu game Liverpool Arsenal gaks.. one cup game , and Liverpool won handsomely 4 - 3.It was a dream come true to be in the stadium and the energy is so electrifying , unlike in Mesia where we tend to boo the team playing , or call referee KAYU.. heheheheh ( i do that too ) instead of cheering for the team regardless the results !!

And i can tell you , the energy from the Dutch supporters is THE BEST !!! World CUp 1998 in Marseille !! I was with the ORANGE ARMY stand then ; Imagine , one hour before the game starts - we were walking from Marseille beach to the stadium singing and cheering . In the stadium .. the hardcore supporters were singing all the time , i was not able to concentrate on the game properly . Then after the game , we were in the stadium for another hour to celebrate the 5-0 trashing of South Korea !! such carnival.. such fun !!! hakss.. wahh..such memories , nanti la kalau tera scan picture i will share it here. Liverpool. crossing my fingers that tonite's game in Carling cup will be ours !!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Highest respect

It's about 2 am in the mornin.. n i'm still not asleep yet !! haks.. stupid.. tomorrow mornin i still have to wake up early and work again.. i just got back home at 12 midnite !

My god.. tonite was fact the whole day was too busy to describe. Too many patients comin in; gile kena kuat semangat duduk P2 i cant imagine - i reckon the worse ever working condition that a doctor can have is being in P2. hhehehehehe tADI TGH KEJE TENSION AH , skrg dha balik rasa kewl la pulak.. how in the hell did i cope with the pressure and work load ???

Anyway - my upmost respect to those who are already or buddin physicians.. my hats off to you !!! i can never be like u guys.. gile hard work.. coz at the end of it one wonders ; is it really worth it ??

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Understanding Death

Work , as if you'll live a thousand years.. Pray as if you'll die tomorrow.

A very wise statement from a wise man , the great Prophet Muhammad. To few , this isssue is taboo , to another few - it is the AIM of life.some may not even prepared to talk about it especially if it is from the new age yuppies.

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah , wafilakhiratil hasanah waqina azabannarr.

As for me , it is something that i see and handle prominently. Without fail , there will be people dying in front of me ; as evidence by last night's call.Naturally its P@ what do you expect?? My favourite uncle died after i thought he was slowly recovering from his long standing stroke and another - who came in with really bad sepsis.( infection )

Preparing for death is not easy - some may try not to think about it. I remember the plight of a HIV positive patients who was ill , whispering to me saying he is afraid to die.He saw his bedside neigbour died one by one - in his lengthy 1 month stay in the ward. he died in the end - not a pretty site though being immunocompromised - the death was very painful .. hmmmm...

Coming to terms with death is not easy. The impact is huge not just to the deceased but to the one around them. And some how , it affects one's judgement for future undertakings. I faced 2 this year.. my beloved Atuk Aki and also my unborn son.

But at the end of the day , one should not fear death, never ever.. - as it is something for sure if we believe in god , that is the qada and qdar - perjalanan hidup satu-satu roh. Paradoxically ; the beauty of it is we dont know when it can happen. We may be able to predict when but as it is not within our power - we can never know .Tawakkaltu a'lallah. The more important thing is to cherish all memories and moments while we are still breathin.. and no regrets to any of our actions ever...

Haks ..dunno i am in such sombre mood. But.. that is what bloggin is about.. rite ?

Friday, November 26, 2004

The Incredibles

Pheewwwwwwww..... It had been a very busy week ; from monday till today.. but i managed to watch the show !! hehehehe... on dvd haram of course !! Kewl cartoon movie ; definitely made for ps2 n xbox - the graphic and movements.. definitely for console freaks..

I'm very tired lorr.. so tired.. the amount of patients that osmossed thru P2 was uncommentable. Gile ramai !! Imagine - when i was on call last Tuesday - the ward was full with patients 72 beds.. canvas dah penuh sampai pintu masuk - had to call the MO in charge of A & E to really filter patients who are to be admitted to the medical ward !!!

2 of the patients under my care died.. well , can't expect much as they came in very ill. But somehow - eventhough my resuscitation record is 0% so success in reviving them alive !! hehehehe mana taknya , sume dah asystole ( which means no heart beat tracing ) when i was called to attend them !! I realized that eventhough i dont like this posting at all , the experience that i've garnered so far is very useful. I'm here for almost a month , but it feels like i've been here for ages !! The workload is mad , the patients to entertain are humongous !! really testing one's patience.. I've not blown up yet as in loosing my cool lar .. cant imagine if i do one day , coz im not very nice when im that !! hehehehe kena warning sume staff nanti... DANGER LAL...

The day - post call , slept straight away when i got back .. from 6pm- 6am.. My darling wife tried to wake me up to eat.. i was unconcious by then , and guess what i answered ?? to document down my refusal to eat in the patient's file !!! hahahahaha when she told me that in the morning , i laughed like mad.. but still i am sleepy..

Even till now... till now... mmmmmm..sedapnya bantal tu...

Monday, November 22, 2004

Abang Cak

heheheheh... My dear Abang Cak.. You know what , i really really really have to post this blog.. hehehehehe still cant stop laughing ..

My dearest wife .. ( who was pissed off with the blog i wrote the other day... kuang kuang kuang..) has this thingy ; a very strange relationship with this one lizard who i fondly call Abang Cak.

Apparently , Abang cak likes to hang around in the kitchen when Haniza is there. And my god , she will scream like mad as if there is this one big lion was about to jump on her.Everytime , when abang cak comes around to have a look ; she'll run off from the kitchen and just refuses to cook. ( sometimes one wonder.. tactic kot ? hehehehe)
And she has been looking all around town to get lizard killer tablets - mcm the rat poison tu.. hehehe but obviously , you and i know there is no such thing rite ?

Anyway - today when i got back from work , the kitchen was somehow - full of insect spray smell . hmmmmm... So i went back to our room and my wife was seen sleeping. woke her up , and she told me she was exhausted and stressed. Apparently , she was in a fight with abang cak and she decided to kill him off !!!! hahahahaha and she sort of finished half of the insect spray off.. :)

Anyway , i had to do the dirty job to dispose Abang cak from the sink. that was however , without some fun of my own. She was so freaked out that , she locked our room door and was screaming ; telling me to dispose it off. hahahahaha i had my fun , playing around with the dead corpse..
My tribute to abang cak.. so small yet so empowering. You will always be remembered..

Memorable Sunday

Anak melaka gagah perkasa ,
berkunjung meminang puteri diraja,
jauh kembara hajat terasa ,
memetik sekuntum bunga teruja..

Haks.. yup , yesterday was a very memorable Sunday. My closest cousin - Nazrin or fondly known as En was officially engaged to his "sweetheart" in Subang. Indeed , their love story is very similar to the hindustan genre ; my maklong was not keen at all with En's choice. And indeed he was very loyal ; waiting for more than 6 years before maklong gave in to En..Macam2 cabaran - Maklong actually looked for a suitable daugther in-law - still En said no. hehehehhehehe Sweet isn't it ?

Earlier i told myself i WILL attend the ceremony no matter what. Managed to get the day off eventhough Sunday was active.Lucky me !!

Anyway , Uncle Hasni was our speaker ; and boy was he charming. It was really nice to hear him talk and joke around - i am observing all the talk and trades ; as i will be the next generation to do this kind of stuffs later in life !!! The bit that i liked most was when he presented our gifts ( hantaran ) and each gift was with a pantun. It was beautifully arranged and invited grin and smile from the crowd. Smitten kata sesetengah orang !! well , being from Melaka , pantun is a big thingy!!!

The ceremony went well, Maktuk slit the ring on Aleza ( En's fiancee ) and Aleza actually broke into tears. According the the gossip circle ( Kak Nazaria and elly ) ye laaaa... siksa menunggu 7 tahun !!

Congratulations En !!!! the wedding should be in 6 months time; cant wait for this wedding. I really do appreciate En's help suring mine 3 years ago !! Hang on kazen !! i will be there for you.. heheheheh most likely , i will be his best man ; if there are no objections from any quarters.. *smile*

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Reality Bites

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
letter to Marie Bonaparte, in Ernest Jones Sigmund Freud: Life and Work (1955) vol. 2, pt. 3, ch. 16

Funny though , when one reads Freud's quote - being the father of psychiatry!! I suppose his comment is relevantly universal. :)

Felling quite down at the moment.Why? Obviously - just had a disagreement ( i'm putting it very mild here... ) with you know who... Sometimes one just wonders - is this what marriage is all about ? I used to have this philosophy that marriage is about coping with each other when the tough gets going.. but man , when you're in it - it becomes so stressful and sometimes it just pushes you away , pulls you down and makes one miserable.

This cold war is slowly killing me. ON the surface it looks calm but beneath ; a volcano is just boiling up to blast. Is it really my fault ? if it is , i do pray to god to decide and let it to be for the best. The issues are old ; the issues are repetative ; it comes in all types and form.

Its so easy to feel that , one is suite to another - but from my experience one can never know.Marriage is such a gamble - sometimes the risks are calculated sometimes it is not.And the thing is , we can never know who suits us best - we can only predict but the outcome depends on the situation and qada and qadar.If you're lucky , then your gamble may pay off with multiple dividends. But if your gamble fails , then one has to decide on either to live with it or make a tangent decision. The thing is , if one is a sore loser - imagine the trouble and disharmony it can create.. fuiiiyooo...

I maybe very vague here , though bloggin may be one medium for throwing out one's feelings - there is this thin line between privacy and sharing esp about marriage life.But sometimes i do feel suffocated - in my own space ; trusting nobody to discuss what i feel , what to do. Ego ? not really - just that in reality.. I HAVE TO FACE IT.. not the one listening ; and no matter how good the listener can be , it makes no difference to any decision or any emotional turmoil in you. Correct me if i'm wrong !!!!

It is difficult when someone tries to change the other - to one's liking when reality beckons that every individual being is unique. I suppose the balance will come in when there is compromise or acceptance.The main point being ; accepting the other person the way they are. I suppose being me , a bit insensitive at times may become one of the stumbling blocks for compromise. But i cant help it do i ? thats who i am and maybe i am not suited for one job but damn good at another and requires this characteristic.

Its so easy to hurt another or being hurt - and the scar for recovery may slow to add grudges in it.. wow.. how does it really resolve ? Maybe some people are lucky ; living a fairy tale life or the best thing - not to be involve at all in marriage !! haks.. but then , life is about taking risk .. living the risk.. and see how it turns out.. so ; it's one way god is joking around with his beings...

Ok.. masa dah time.. just a bit of what i may feel from time to time.tomorrow on-call ; definitely Jonah again...

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Raya in KL

Do you know how to sew the ketupat ? heks.. well, i used to be really good at it!! Unfortunately i've let my silky skills rot for the past 2-3 years... :(

Yesterday-s raya was kewl - both me n wife went to few houses - haniza's family side. Mak Teh in Taman Permata, Pakcik Nor in Kampung bharu , MAk Uda in PJ . I've not done this for quite some time and honestly i almost forgot that raya is the time where one meets up with family and firends to catch up with their endevours. It is different from attending open houses - it is more personal . I do have to ensure that i'll do this every year as this is one way to forge strong family ties.

In the evening , went to Elly's place in |Sri Damansara. A very cosy apartment! Mama n Papa was there too.. heks.. this is our own nuclear family !! She did not prepare much as i've told her not too.. too full with the food binge !! Giller banyak makan semalam.. hehehehehehe

Uhuks.. tomorrow on to work again!! aarrgghh.. really dreading the thought of stepping into P2 again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Syawal 2004

Yup.. back from MUar.. well, on raya day itself !! had to do so as i was oncall on the 2nd day of Raya.

Me n my wife went back to Muar on Saturday - rather early morning ; the idea was to beat the traffic. We arriveD TOO early !! 10 am to be exact... only Auntie Nor n family was there besides Pak Pit. It was a new experience for my wife as we've never been back to muar on the day before raya. She has no kampung you see, both her grandparents were deceased when she was young ; so coming bAck to see tuk abah and maktuk in muar was definitely an experience. Ahaks , i've always been the manjaest grandchild so they were happy lar to see me ..haks!!

To my surprise , it was only us( plus pak pit n auntie nor's family ) on raya eve .Haniza had to be in the kitchen to help out !! haks.. something traditionally expected by the elderly automatically !!!It was certainly nice that evening during iftar - tasting maktuk's all favourite asam pedas.. the one and only and untouchable !!! Malam raya ; me , pakpit , uncle hasni and Ben recited the takbir. Wished more was there and it would have been more kewl. If my father was here, he would have led the prayers !! tapi takpe la.. anak pak mamat pun bule jugak..

My mum came back the day after , so are all the other aunties. Eventhough it was not as meriah as i used to remember when i was younger - It was kewl celebrating raya in muar. Somehow , i have this affection for kampung ; I've always looked forward to balik kampung !! somehow , i find that my kampung is really kewl !!haks.. anyway , maktuk and tuk abah really do appreciate our presence.I suppose , them being ill this past few months. Tuk abah was recently admitted to UH ; maktuk is a newly diagnosed asthma . SO one would expect their tone of conversation ; saying that dunno whether they will be around next raya. Tuk Lang ( atuk abah's younger brother ) passed away last week !! Now , it's only him and her sister left. Even on maktuk's side , only tuk tam and tuk cik left. yang lain sume dah standby up there...

I've always enjoyed the raya'ing bit. During my younger days , the whole family entourage from one house to another. it was kewl knowing your relatives that way. Honestly , it was never about the money ( duit raya ) but i've always enjoyed hearing stories about the family , where we came from - keturunan muar from the elders. I do try to be in the elders group talking rather than playing around with my cousins then .. hekks.. well , not really surprising isn't it coz i enjoy SEJARAH !!!
Anyway , everybody's ill - dah tua aah.. all the 70's age group therefore one would expect this scenario. I only hope that they will be around for the subsequents rayas as when they're gone ; the raya spirit back to kampung will be lost. I do cherish all this tradition and customs. And it was a bit of shocker to me , in realizing i did not really do my part post marriage - visiting all relatives to introduce ourselves and thank them for all their help then. SOmething that i should have hold on to... i will definitely remind my younger ones to sustain this custom-as it bonds the family unit..

Saying all this , alfatihah to Tuk Aki ( my pahang atuk ) who passed away few months back. Quite sad really coz he's the kewl atuk!! first time raya'ing without him being around physically. Somehow i will definitely miss him ; his wit and creativity. Sayang , tak sempat menuntut habis his bomoh skills ehehehehehe dapatlah sikit2 dulu... I will definitely tell about his endevours to my children and grandchildren!!

But sadly , had to break the festive mood yesterday as i was oncall. Thought that the call to be easy.. butt NNNOOOOTTTT.. did not even sleep the whole nite !! Dunno who's the jonah last nite.. me or amir !! ill patients keep coming in like water .. hahahahaha.. But alhamdulillah , nobodody died last nite. managed to keep them all alive thru out the nite.. :)

OK.. well, i just came back from work ni.. post call. biasalah mata mengantuk and heavy! Im off again for another 2 days to enjoy my raya ; never had this opportunity the last 2 years. So, sapa sapa yang baca ni.. jemput la ke rumah ekks . nothing much , just a game of Pro Evolution Soccer on PS2 !!!

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Shangri La iftar.. Mentekedarah in action !!!

The 2nd last day of ramadhan - had my iftar in Shangri La.. Fuiiyoo , my first time in that prestiguous hotel. Wow.. it was really posh and nice !! It is in the centre of KL just infront of beach club and NOuvo in Jalan Sultan Ismail.

I was there on dAto Khaled's invitation ( the minister of Entrepeneur and Cooperative Development ). I was there with Mal and Rozaini. In the beginning i thought it was one of his many functions - and invited us to be a part of the function . so being me.. the food-devil..hehehehehe pergi je la..makan free sapa taknak rite ? eventhough i was a bit groggy - this was realised by dato' himself !! But then to my surprise , it was actually only the 7 of us. Me . mal , rozaini with dato khaled , his son and his 2 secretaries ( political and press ). I was flattered mah.. baik menteri nih ajak buka puasa!!

We'll i've known him for 2 years and he is one down to earth minister. I did write 2 speeches for him and i was rewarded with rm2000 for my heidelberg trip last year !!! haks.. but since becoming the minister he is a bit bz - so our meet up had been non - existence for the past 1 year. Than you Dato !! it was a nice meal..tahun depan nak lagi ek.. hehehehehe ( last year it was in Mutiara Hotel )

Hehehehe nice je ?? I ate like mentekedarah !! my belly was full i felt like it almost burst!! hehehehe but most of it was because of my extra keen consumption of drinks - toooooo thirsty with the hell job since last nite !!! Mal was the winner this year - he ate lots of the chocolate fountain thingy !! it was really cool . what they did was having this fountain - where water was replaced with chocolate flow. all we need to do is take the assorted biscuits and dip it in !! really kewl.. of course being me.. i experimented with the water melon..pine apple and chicken bits.. hehehehehehe

It was kewl - the meet up was informal and fun !! haks.. end up with mal for i hour sitting in the lobby - trying to load the full belly down !! haaakkss..

I'm going back to kampung tomorrow in Muar. So dear friends and keen avid bloggers. Salam Aidilfitri. Ampun dan maaf dipinta , yang dahulu kini dan akan datang. *smile*

THe passing of ramadhan

Wow.. time just went by like that. Tonite is the last nite of ramadhan , bulan keberkatan is almost over. Geee.. feeling a bit guilty because this the first ramadhan where i missed most of the tarawikhs due to my work schedule. I did not do much ibadah this month , a bit rugi i felt. Well , typical of me , bila terhantuk baru nak mengadu.. Anyway , i pray to allah to forgive all my sins and my wrongdoings and do guide me to follow the right path.. insya-allah.

Last night's call was a bit jonah ( medics vocab : the unlucky.. )dont think it was me but my senior MO on call !! Patient kept coming in from 5 pm till late. and one 72 year odl chinese man died in the ward after an attack of hypoglycaemia. Pity him as his renal malfunctioned and caused his death. It was quite touching to see all his 3 children paid their last respect when the ecg went flatline.. hmmm.. dunno whether i can be calm when i am in the same position one day...

Then at about 1 am , a 38 year old indon came in with complaints of fever and letharginess for the past 1 week. He developed a very bad rash on his trunk and limbs and became bedriddn and confused for the past 2 days. I was dead worried about this patient collapsing on me - so was quite agressive in callin here and there - trying to manage the patient. My MO was a bit bz upstairs so i updated her thru the phone from time to time.He was sverely dehydrated and was not really responsive to my calling. His past history was not obtainable as it was his brother in law , sister in law who brought him to the hospital. Tried to insert a CBD ( medic vocab - the tube thru the penis to the bladder.. sounds aduuiiss isnt it..hehehe ) and he had a stricture !! i was unable to push it in thought of shoving it in but dont want to cause such trauma early in the morning.. I was thinking of Meningicoccal meningitis , but i did not take that much of extra precaution when i was touching him. this is a very deadly infective disease you see.

Apparently during morning rounds - My boss ( Chris Lee.. nope not the drakula chap.. hehehe ) freaked out when he saw the patient was gasping for air. He shouted for me , but i was glad that i documented what i did ( almost 2 pages ) so he was a bit satisfied with my management. He eventually smashed and roasted my mO. Kesian lak kat dia. And guess what the patient had to be intubated and brought to ICU. And i had to take a strong antibiotic to cover myself from this deadly disease that can be emmitted by touch , fluid.. damn.. i wasn't really proecting myself last nite !!!

Anyway , during the morning rounds i was so stoned and really sleepy. Hek , my call was ok in general but it was equally bad .. hehehehe but the next time a meninggococcal menigitis admitted to my ward - i know what to do.. :)

Thursday, November 11, 2004


YOu know what.. this was my favourite song during my UK years 1994 - 1998.. and by who ? yess.. FEMININ.. hakss.. i know most people would like sort of tell me ..WHAT ??? WHY ?? GODDD !!! THEM ??
dunno why REALLY.. funyy.. but my philosophy then was kalau org lain tak suka.. takpe la.. kita suka.. hehehe coz guess who's the other famous artist during the 90's who i liked.. yes.. the DANGDUT OF AMELINA . hehehehehehe please dont puke !!!Maybe i'll post her famous songs lyrics for your reading .. hehehehehehe

Angin bayu membawa diriku
Sepintas lalu ku terkenangkanmu
Memori silam meresap malam
Kenangan bersama tersimpan selamanya

Walaupun kau pergi jauh dari diri ini
Cintaku masih bersemadi di hati
Keyakinan kita kan kembali
Menghidupkan semula janji bara cinta

Kita bersama mengejar mimpi
Terpisah sementara kupasti
Suatu hari nanti
Cinta kita bersemi
Kembali menerangi
Mekar di taman hati

Walaupun jauh pandangan mata
Kuyakin kau kan tetap setia
Begitulah ku jua
Keikhlasan di jiwa
Dan cintaku hanyalah

Saban hari diriku menuggu
Khabar berita darimu di sana
Gerimis senja kembali reda
Kerinduan di jiwa
Kau jadi penawar

Rinduku padamu tak dapat ku terkata
Setiap saat waktu bagai terlalu lama
Bila kita kembali bersama
Hiduplah semula
Janji bara cinta

Mimpi yang dikejar telah pun menjadi nyata
teristimewa untuk anda semua...


Haks.. its deepavali tomorrow. So to our hindu believers.. happy deepavali. sapa-sapa yang mandi minyak in the morning , please use the ointment with good smell.. hehehehhe..

by the way , FYI - this is one of those years where my birthday is NOT ON deepavali !! haksss.. i dunno why but deepavali occurs too often on the 24th of october hehehhehe like last year 2003. i was embarrased about this fact when i was younger hehehehe biasalah , anything associated with DKK was deemed sensitive. hehehehe dont we all ??? thats why we love snakes better... *smile*

Anyway ,its public holiday tomorrow and guess what , i'm on call...again.. sigh. well , not really looking forward to go to the wards tomorrow morning - seriously ,this is actually the posting i dread most to serve in. During my previous postings i was comfortable , but not now in medicine.. somehow my interest is not so much on General medicine. It does help my career as a locum doctor but naah.. not that dedicated to spend my life doing. But i do feel that the procedures being done here in P2 will help me a lot in my future posting in anaesthesia.
No wonder my wife dreaded life in general medicine , no matter which level you are ho ke specialist ke - you work like 7 days per week. i suppose the reason being its HKL , the so called tertiary centre of medical treatment in malaysia !! but i do give my respect to those who chose to be commited to this discipline.

For you guys who's not really clear what i'm talking about ;there are 2 types of mazhab in the doctor's world ( pretty isolated..). Medicine and Surgery. Medicine is general medicine ie.. you deal with all kind of diseases - very broad coverage. from the likes of simple fever to the complex myocardial is the core and basic of all doctors. Surgery deals with chopping and cutting out human organs. YOu either fall into one of this two categories.Usually medicine fellas are the smarter ones academically - having broad knowledge ,the mighty KUmar and Clark on your finger tips . Inlooking for the diagnosis , they have to think the logical reasoning with their vast knowledge in finding out the cause of the problem. Surgery fellas are smart too but they are more oriented into stat action.And it requires multiple skills in the operating theatre.

Which category do i fall into ? well , i kinda like the action part .thats why i hate medicine - need to know lots and i know for a fact i am not that smart. Funnily , i fell in love with paediatrics when i was doing that posting.It is actually equivalent to medicine only it deals with "small" people which can be more complicated !!! Dunno why , maybe because i am comfortable with kids and somehow enjoy them heheheehe. its either you like it or you really hate it. Imagine , having to suck out blood from the tiny fingers and hands !!! not easy wooo .. but i dont really mind that.. thats why i was sort of focused in taking the MRCPCH earlier( which was not that successful!! ) . however - as i went thru the other postings ( OnG and surgery) , i found anaesthesia( bius in malay ) to be really kewl. They are the fellas who we refer to when you dunno what to do with ur patient ie.. patient's condition getting worse like dying soon.. hehehehe . so now, i'm in two minds - in deciding which discipline to take up. After 3 months of medicine , i want to be posted in anaesthesia. and i reckon that then , will i only know whether i am suitable for it.

N so far in medicine , ive been doing procedures to equip myself before anaesthesia. I've been doing all the insertion of complex intravenous access to patients!! somehow not 100% success everytime but hey.. one needs practicwe to be good right !! heks.. i guess in P2 is the best place to practice these skills and i believe that god had put me in P2 for a reason.. ( heks.. ni kira nak buat sedap hati sendiri ahh.. )

ok lar gang.. need to go to sleep. am on the whole day n nite tomorrow. will write one more blog before raya. a reflection sempena aidilfitri 2004 *smile*

Saturday, November 06, 2004

MY luck with nice shoes..

YOu know what , maybe i was not born to wear "branded" shoes. Today , just had my timberland keletak keletuk stolen. It caught me by surprise when i finished my friday prayers. Damn. I did not expect it to happen today - or ever actually, been wearing the same shoe for the past i year.. rugi giller. Before this , i had another pair of shoes which was really good , apa lak nama brand die.. lupa ah.. but it was really comfy.. but it got stolen during raya 2002 - in my mother in laws place.. hmm maybe i'm not fated to have these shoewear for show.. sedih la jugak..

Anyway , today in p2 was quite interesting - tried to resus 1 patient for nearly 1.5 hours !! the reason because he is our health minister's relative.. we cant stop the CPR from 5 - 6.30 pm - until the daughter actually came to tell us in stopping the ressuscitation . gile lama.. my longest and most unsuccesful attempt ! haks.. but i got to zap the poor old guy quite a number of times. usually i'm the one doing the cpr and the simple things , but tadi dapat la pegang pedal tu and zap.. hehehehe kelakar coz both my specialists were there to revive the patient !!

Ok lar..its quite laten now..came back home at about 11 pm but then cant seem to sleep now.. tomorrow will be another long day !!!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Life in P2 , HKL

So tired aahh...

Ahaks , you know what ??? the one thing i dreaded most being in HKL became real to me last monday. Started my first day as junior MO in HKL in the medical posting !! the one i dont want to get myself into. But i had no choice , somehow i was deceived by the dr in charge - thought that i was going to be posted in NeuroSurgery.. but instead !! i was so pissed off when i saw the letter ; she recommended me to be posted in the MEDICAL department. bi..h !!!!! I was not happy then and i did express my thoughts to her. I will definitely push myself to the anaesthesia department by the 2nd month in Medicine. btw - i will be posted there for 3 months.

And of all the wards - i was placed in P2 - THE NIGHTMARE ON PAHANG STREET !! hahahaha 3rd class male ward - THE FAMOUS P2 .. The ward'S condition is.. haaakks.. macam gudang perang bang !! Any of you who'd been to HKL and P2.. yups.. you'll be surprised that in this millenium , there is such ward - in its own "unique"ness to still be present !! the condition is ..aarrghh.. dah la panas.. hhehehehe Seriously , i think one will be more sick after being admitted to the ward and one would rather prefer to have their stay short here !! hakss.. i was only able to go back home at 11 pm that day !!! damn.. missed the anticipated iftar with the TTDI pemuda boys in KGNS.. Sorry DIl !!!! My deepest apologies.. :(

And i am under Dr Badrul , the well known specialist amongst HKlians who can sometimes be mean to people. Well , you know - one of those fellas who you love to hate. But so far , i dont think i will be having any problem with him.. hehehehe so far ok lar.. and did my fisrt call yesterday.. perrgghhh... Menangis dik.... the amount of patients pouring into the ward was nightmare !!!! Gila ramai masuk at one time.. i'm glad that i have done my 3 postings.. coz somehow , i am not to anxious no too stressed out... :)

Btw - the patient i clerked yesterday at 2 pm - known case of PTB having shortness of breath collapsed in front of me !! he was cold and clammy.. haks.. shit man .. he was perfectly well before that.. and guess what , even though it was not entirely my fault.. i missed the pneumothorax on chest x-ray !!!!! and his lungs were expanding like mad when we intubated him.. Chest tube was inserted and he recovered... for a while.. when i came back at 10pm , was shocked to be told that the patient died.. and it is not really due to him being non-salvagable.. its just that the ICU ( the anaes team) called him at 8.30 pm when he stopped breathing at 8 pm !! kesian nurse tu dok bagging 2.5 jam .. hehehehe

Oklah , dah nak dekat time for break fast.. haks , will definitely have lots of _2 stories to tell.. :) Salams..

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Ceramah Keibu-bapaan KRS SMTTDI

Gave my first ever - islaimc based ceramah today.. hehehe I was quite lucky that there were not that many parents around . the turnout for the students was fair. Ustaz certainly have lots of confidence in trusting me to give such a ceramah.

Anyway , it was ok . not that excellent. i am not satisfied with my delivery today. Was not relaxed at all !!! haks.. and the old habit of mumbling without understanding what i was talking about ..came !! I suppose , ceramah is suppose to be in a relaxed mode and lots of joke which was definitely lacking in my presentation earlier. Don;t know why but i suppose maybe i was not too comfortable with the topic given. HOwever.. excuses..excuses... anyway , glad to have had it done today. I can identify my weakness in my public speaking. I may be able to deliver speech or lecture confidently but this "off-hand" ceramah needs a lot of practice. Need to impove on this matter.

Today.. i was actually blaming parents for the uprising social problems among youths in Malaysia. I strongly feel that the role of millenium parents is different from the normal orthodox teaching. PArents need to be more proactive and monitor as well as develop their own child. I believe that the education syllabus / system needs direct involvement of parents to ensure dynamic malays of the future. The idea is a bit unorthodox. I did voice this out earlier last month during the Brainstorming session to increase dayasaing melayu organised by PNB. I am passionate about education as i reckon this will be the main tool in determining our wawasan 2020 society.

Ok.. just a short tazkirah regarding luqman al hakim's will to his children . The core idea becomes the basis of educating one's children islamically..

Luqman was known in pre-Islamic Arabia as Luqman al-Hakim, that is Luqman the sage or the wise man. He was probably from Sudan. There were many stories attributed to him that expressed his great wisdom and spiritual maturity. The Qur’an mentioned Luqman to tell us that Luqman’s wisdom led him to be thankful to Allah. The real wisdom consists of directing our thanks to Him who is the ultimate source of all gifts and favors to us. That ultimate source is Allah. Gratitude to Allah is a humble acknowledgement of His favors and bounties. This acknowledgement has three parts: It must be deeply and sincerely felt by the heart. It must be expressed by the tongue and it must manifest in the actions.
The Qur’an tells us that one way Luqman expressed his gratitude to Allah was by giving proper teachings and training to his son. The education of children, whether sons or daughters, is one of the essential teachings of Islam. It is the responsibility of the parents to give proper education and instructions to their children. However, education in Islam is not mere literacy, or training to get a good job and make money. Education in Islam is the training and cultivation of the mind, soul and body with proper ethical, moral, spiritual and intellectual values. An educated person is a person who knows how to control his/her passions and desires and has learned how to express his/herself in the most appropriate manner in every situation.
Luqman gave ten advises:
1. Recognize Allah - This is the first and most important principle of Islam. All Islamic education must begin with this principle. Tawhid must be emphasized and Shirk must be avoided. Oneness of Allah is the ultimate truth and it has the greatest affect in developing a moral and dignified personality.
2. Love and respect of parents - All good education must include the teachings about the rights of parents. However parents’ rights (or any person, group or institutions’ rights) are not above the rights of Allah.
3. Awareness of Allah’s presence and His knowledge - This is the best protection from all sins and wrong doings.
4. Prayers - Regular and proper prayers. Prayer is the nourishment of the soul. Through prayer we acknowledge the Lordship of Allah, give thanks to Him and express our allegiance and obedience to Him.
5. Command what is good - This means active involvement in doing good things and spreading truth, justice and righteousness.
6. Forbid wrong things - This means active involvement in preventing and eradicating evil, sin and corruption.
7. Patience and steadfastness - This is necessary for all those who want to work for good cause.
8. Kindness and courtesy to all people. Good people are kind and courteous people.
9. Humbleness - Be humble in you walk and in your behavior general.
10. Moderation - Follow moderate lifestyle. No extravagance, to extremism is allowed in Islam

Pissed off..

YOu know what.. i was so pissed off early morning yesterday. I wrote a long blog regarding the reunion iftar yesterday , and when i published it - only then was i informed thatthe blog server was down. the best thing was i was not able to retrieve the lengthy blog i wrote !! arrrrrgghhh...

Well , a recap.. yesterday;s iftar was kewl - most of the gang turned up. Megats ( Harris n Edrus ) , Juwie and Wid , Nurleena and Nor , the usual suspects ; Azad n yanti , dil and iza , mafiz , MAluks and his principal from norway.. and me wt my wife.. the late comers !!!

Haks , we came a bit late due to calling of maghrib. But the thing was , my friends being mentekedarah finished the whole meal in 20 minutes !! we arrived about 7.20 pm n almost licin !! haks.. we end up eating the crap nasi goreng.. ( had to go out at about 3 am for sahur in uptown.. really hungry wooo! )

After the iftar , we adjourned to juwie's place in Sri TTDI. It was really fun catching up old stories - i have not met most of them for more than 6 months !!! Its nice to have such gatherings n our bond as a big family shined throughout the night.. Being the big laughing group we are ! ( we dont need liqour to get drunk you know !! ) MMBBUUAAAHHHHSSSS>....

Friday, October 29, 2004

THank you Mal..

Got myself connected to Streamyx today.. well , it wasn't really me.. but my wife did all the arrangement. the chinaman came at about 4 pm. And still it was frustrating because my comp was slow - i suppose due to my wife's intensive internet surfing for the past 4 months..

She actually asked me to go to Imbi Plaza tomorrow morning, but i dont think i want to sacrifice my lovely friday morning ( hari untuk sembahyang.. hehehe ) so.. how lucky i was , that a dear friend of mine was around to help.. sapa ?

Maluks laaa.. hehehehe.. ( he's actually by my side as im typing this down ..uhhghh..)

thank you mal.. we spent like 3 hours from 1 am to 3 am to sort my comp out.. the end result.. walaahh.. cayalah.. i reckon it is definitely healthier now..

ok lar.. tomorrow , the big makan.. breaking fast in Muhibbah. hope that it'll be a good turnout.. ok..cheerios..

Monday, October 25, 2004



24 October 2004... my 28th birthday.. i'm already that old !! haaakkss..Syukur Alhamdulillah dear god almighty for having me to live my life wonderfully so far.
Well.. this year's birthday was kewl. why ? coz..

1) finished my houseman postings !! i'm on a week's holiday !! yup ,. i'm an MO now !! i year of sheer hardwork and tiredness fullfilled ! glad.. so glad to have finished it in style..dunno what got into Mr Kumar , somehow i'm invited to join his mega project of the future.. sssssssssyyy.. KGB stuff man.. haks.. well , have to think hard about it..

Paeds / OnG / Surgery// Wooohhhooooo ( Homer Style )
Next destination : well , was offered to go to plastic / nurosurgical. well , i guess neurosurgical will be my choice.. definitely not MEDICAL !!!!!

2) entah somehow.. i dunno what got into her.. my wife bought me PS2!!! haakkss.. the last person i thought would do so actually did it !! gile tergamam masa tgk the present ! hahahahaha seriously , never thought that i would be so lucky to get one.. terasa bersalah lak , coz tak de lak hadiah like that from me !! haks.. will have to create something special on our anniversary - 2nd november 2004. but giller kewl.. I have 30 games .. and of course my favourite.. the football game !!!

3) At about 2200 last nite , almost all from the gang gathered in Mohsein 2 , TTDI ( mamak place ) for a drink.. with SISS NAAN and tandoori.. the distinguished guests were:

1) azad n yanti
2) dil n iza
3) fiqar
4) mafiz
5) mal

It was really kewl to meet up. We haven't meet up for quite some time. It was a fun 1.5 hours.. with the loud laughter n silly jokes. Well , old friends are certainly diamonds.. really appreciate the gesture azad !! thanx.. patutnya birthday boy yg open table , ni our "don" lak yg belanja.. thanks azad.. a kewl gathering on my birthday.. well , i suppose being the youngest one in the group, somehow azad seems to alwiz remember his "small" brother here... hehehehehe

If everything goes ok , this Friday - a buka puasa gathering will be held in MUhibbah the steamboat restaurant in Rahim Kajai. hope that the gathering will turn out well..

Haks.. ok la.. need to practice my gameplay.. dunno whether in the near future i will actually have time to play the adventure games..

Monday, October 18, 2004



What has one to do, when one grows tired of the world, as we both do, but to draw nearer and nearer, and gently waste the remains of life with friends with whom one began it?
letter to George Montagu, 21 November 1765, in Correspondence (Yale ed.) vol. 10

i'm on call again tomorrow.. sigh.. not really looking forward to it. reason : i'm quite tired of it now. Somehow , i'm always tired and feeling lethargic.My colleague noticed this too and suggested that maybe i've burnt out.. hmm... that sounds logical..

haks.. ok let me tell you ( all the doc wannabees) bout this on call business. It is part and parcel in the life of a doctor.I am a Malaysian government doctor. Our starting wage is satisfactory - being 2800 per month. ok la kan.. but the thing is we dont have time to really think about spending it.. why ? becuase of on call.


Usually in other departments / jobs we call it overtime. but ours is really about being overworked and overstressed !!

Working hours : 0700 - 1700
On call : 1700 - 0700 ( the next day )

and we have to continue working till 5pm the next day.. ie straight 36 hours !! haks.. currently i'm posted in surgery . Which is quite relaxed compared to my previous 2 postings.. paediatrics and Obstetrics.

But alas.. i'll be finishing really soon.. like this Saturday !! 23rd of October - just 1 day before my birthday .. heks.. but then , i do feel that i will be posted to do the medical posting next.. which i hate most !!! met the HOD for anaes the other day but she cant take me into anaes without medical experience.. hmmmm... well , if i dont have any choice ; what can i do ?? belasah jer..

ok lor.. most likely i wont be bloggin tmorrow.. adios ..

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Ramadhan Day 3


Perasan tak my face got bigger in the Sempurnakan HArimu ad !!! haaakss.. well , tu la org kata glamour tak sengaja.. hehehe.. Tercapai cita2 nak jadi pelakon iklan.. hahahahahahahahha

waahh.. it had been quite some time since i last blogged. Sorry la to my avid fans haks.. macam ada orang nak baca jer.. well , cant do much for the last 1 month. I was very busy you know.. with my calls and my work.. my locums.. haks..

Anyway , for your information i failed on my first attempt with the MRCPCH Part 1 in SIngapore ( my last few bloggss ) huk..huk.. sedih gak.. but the marks were not too bad considering my preparation and the time i actually spent studying.. cuma rugi RM2000 ahh.. .uuhh.. that hurts..

today is my 3rd day of ramdhan. fasting huh.. noi problem.. lucky that i'm not oncall this weekend . so had been on the bed since am.. hehehehe went out to sahur with my wife in A&W at 2 am till about 5 am.. long talk we had.. really long talk. I guess i;m still trying to get into terms with her.. we're married almost 3 years and so many problems unresolved.. but then friends , that story will be in another blog.

its 6.45 pm now. got my locum in Klinik Ikhwan Sentul 8 - 10 pm. ok la RM 70 for the 2 hour sitting!!

Ok .. salams.. Selamat berbuka puasa beb..

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Merdeka Blues

Yup... 31 August 2004
Still in the excited mood to write this bloggss.. haks..lepas ni nanti sekali sekala lah ade entry.. bila buat macam ni kan , teringat cerita Doogie Howser. kan , he'll write the happenings of his life in his comp journal..

I'm off today.. not on-call.. therefore had been on the bed for the whole day..
heks.. giller malas..
the paradox is i will be taking my MRCPCH PArt 1 exams next wednesday..
and what am i doing today ? not studying.. perrggh..
memang gile ah.. dunno why i made the decision to take the exams during housemanship..
maybe i felt that i am suppose to fast forward myself as i am definitely 2-3 years back to my old colleagues..
I feel like i wanna catch on them.. tu la pasal.. i am 27 now.. and still just at the tip of my housejob.. tak lama lagi baru je nak jadi MO. Tengok my wife , she's now doing Masters and in 4 years time insya-allah , she's a Specialist.. hmm.. where will i be then ?

Anyway , while i;m still in the mood might as well just key in my thoughts for the day..

Still not out of the euphoria and adrenaline rush from the talk i gave in Kolej Matrikulasi Johor on Saturday.. never thought that i was able to catch their attention for 2 hours.. well , i suppose i have the charisma in me.. hmm.. have to strategize to realize this potential..

Ok.. i think thats all for today.. need to take my shower and pray.. pray to PASS MY EXAMS !!!! haks..


a'kum.. if anybody is reading my blog.. haks..
its 2.50 am now and i am not yet asleep..
gila ape.. mentang2 esok tak on call.. saja jer jaga lambat..
have to get my priorities right yeah.. having my exams next week..
God.. part 1 MRCPCH .. dunno whether i am fully ready..

Anyway , received my MO posting letter..
it seems that i will be in HKL.. most likely will be posted to the medical department..
hmmm..but somehow , i will try to puch for anaesthesia rotation..
seems to be more of my liking for good experience..

MY surgical rotation is crap.. dont think i learn much ere..
especially because it it UPM ward..
dont get to do any appendicectomies yet..
will try to ask for one soon.. must do it..
otherwiae , it will be a useless posting..
and the number of colleagues are getting less..
Mai cant be on call anymore coz she's nearing term..

Anyway , will be waiting to watch my dad on tv tmrw..
MPOB MERDEKA contingent.. haks.. lawak laks..

Friday, August 27, 2004

hello.. the start


dunno what to write actually..
anyway.. am new to this...
haks.. cakap sorang2 ah... ok kewl.. ni test run eih..