Subhanallah.. a year ago, i was at a different juncture. Masha Allah, only Allah can tell what was felt inside when i made the decision to let go and join the Aman Palestin team in our bid to enter Gaza at that very hostile moment. The war started on the 1st of Ramadhan and the world stood still, a live genocide happening every minute. The attempt of pushing the Palestinian out of their homeland. The whole world continued to let it happen as if it was permissible as the super powers of the world continued to let it happen.
Its easy to preach jihad in sermons and tazkirah but when one is in that position to take up the calling, the decision was not straight forward. To really know the test that Allah gives one after all the nikmat that he has given to you? How willing are you to accept the challenge in your bid to prove your worthness to the Almighty?
I totally cannot imagine how Prophet Ibrahim A.S. on receiving Allah's command in sacrificing his own son which he had so much wanted after a long wait to conceive, to bringthem to a totally exodus land and after that, to let him go? The ultimate test.. Alhamdulillah, as what was transpired in the quran on the ending of how all things went well. Imagine the turmoil of one own's feeling that defines us as a human being? Of course my own test cannot be compared to what Prophet Ibrahim had to endure, but perhaps only a fraction of what he felt which honestly will still make me teary everytime i think bout it.
It was my life changer. During this journey, I relearnt about my own faith and the concept of fi sabilillah in its true meaning. When we talk about submission, are we ready to submit.. kalbu, lisan dan perbuatan? How ready are we to know the calling is true and to believe truly to qada and qadar defying logical thinking of man?
Subhanallah, Walhamdulillah, Wala ilahaillallah.. Allahu Akbar!
I year on and my life journey has changed tremendously. My views, my opinions and the believe on what Allah has planned for us is different from what i thought of in the past. Indeed, Allah is the planner and the challenge is always on us to keep up to what we preach.