We had two mortalities ( deaths )last week in our ICU . Both , during my call ! Therefore , being the MO on call on that day , I was to fill in lots of documents ; which if I don't do it fast ; will pile up as days goes by. Paper work is something i'm not keen on and it would be really sad if hospital management revolves around it rather than total patient care.
We had another death today ; and it was in a way a blessing considering she's been in ICU since late October. It will be tough for the parents to accept as she is only 21 but the agonising suffering for the past 2 months was worst. As an intensive care unit , our job is mainly to stabilize , get everything under control ( infection , effusion , renal function etc.. ) and reverse the morbidity .However , it becomes tricky when pre morbid factors are taken into consideration ; and it becomes an ethical dilemna when the patient comes with a known disease with an unlikely good prognosis to start with. It is true , that as carers we have to give our optimal attention and treatment . In our current setting ,it becomes a challenge as resources itself limits one's point of management.
I must say , it is a challenge to make decisions that would decide life or death. A consultant or the person in charge must be brave ; backed by knowledge on every decision. It is the superiority of experience which holds the edge ; but without a firm personality it means nothing. Stamping down one's feet is very crucial because resources are limited and should be aimed for those who will benefit ; not for the sake of academia.
I will hold that responsibility one day , and I am still learning. My decisions will be questioned by god in the hereafter , and will i be able to justify my actions ?