Its the fifth day of ramadhan today. It is a different ramadhan this year as for the first time since being married 10 years ago, we have a helper.(well, currently transitional phase as the earlier one decided to go back home). It is different because i don't have to be in the house anymore post iftar; as previous years it was just me and wifey. I can't simply leave home for tarawikh and leave her unattended to handle the kids isn't it? And that was our life as long as I can remember.
However, on the eve of ramadhan; i was very enlightened to be in the mosque to perform tarawikh. Honestly, initially i was only staying till 8 but something struck my mind to just remain there. Even if i went back home then, i really had nothing to do. PReviously, there was alwas an excuse eg to study, some work to do etc. but now, I''m done with my specialist degree and settling well.I realised I've not given my time so much to god,really! I've been so slack at this and that night i realised my shortcoming. I stayed till 20 which was not easy: the temptation to just go off was strong. I found my peace and it was lovely. I can't really explain but it was good to devote yourself for a while and i was glad i stayed.
Of course, the subsequent days i could not stay long but I am really determined to give myself to god more nowadays. My working life can be hectic - doing cardiothoracic list in UM gurantees late night back! I hope Ramadhan this year will transform me into being a better muslim.
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