Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Its lonely accepting death

Ady's dad passed away earlier today.
He was 63. Alfatihah..
Sama called me from ICU while i was doing locum in A&E last night . Ady's dad was deteriorating fast , eventhough he managed to fight off the sepsis ( unbelievably of MRSA ) ; his vital organs paid dearly as they were near to irreversibility of function. I managed to get Ady at 3am and he rushed to the hospital.
When I was done with my shift ( which was hectic but interesting cases at the same time ! ) I quickly went up to ICU . Managed to caught Ady's sister ( a blogger !! ) and she told me about the immediate denial crisis with their step mother. I guess it must have been hard for Ady as he was himself in a dilemma between being a son and a clinician. The differences of practice is obvious and I guess caused a bit of discomfort with my ICU Lecturer. Ady's dad was deteriorating at the same time .Paradoxically , he was alright the day before ; extubated and breathing spontaneously , able to obey command. I was in fact communicating with him ! I guess this strengthens the urban legend about how immediately before death , one would be well and alive ; as if to say the last goodbye.

Ironically, the Shrewsbury lot were in there (except Husin la who got married last Saturday and tak jemput..hahahah ) during Ady's dads last moment ; me , Izzat and Ady. We recited verses from Quran and urged the syahadah as his heart rate became slower and slower. It was very sad with all the family members who never got along well during his lifetime doing the opposite thing now. Everybody was crying.
And who would have thought , I would be the person , a friend and ex schoolmate pulling the plug off and pronounce the time of death. It was a very emotional moment.
It was again another new experience when we were in mortuary ; cleaning Ady's dad. At this time , only his body left , remained soulless. Having to see your own dad at this stage can be frightening to some l but i guess one needs to go over this to accept and move on from deniality. Nothing beats cleaning with your own bare hands and it is encouraged in Islam. Who else kan..who else should do it if not your offsprings ? During the process , images of mikhail came into mind especially when we did Ady's dad's ablution.


Never miss a moment ,
From womb to birth ,
To appreciate their cry ,
To see them smile ,
To gaze their lovely eyes.

Its a joy to watch them learn ,
To teach them iman ,
To yearn their taqwa ,
Tawadda' to the Almighty.

Never miss a moment ,
Because the hands you caress ,
Will bathe your body upon your death ,

and pray for your soul in the life here after..,

Daripada Allah dia datang , dan kepada Allah dia kembali... Alfatihah..


Spena said...

Thanks again for your help. Nothing can ever replace what you have done. Ady is very lucky to have a friend like you.

Dr.M said...

We try to do our best for our friends in time of need. Its not easy physically and emotionally on the receiving end. Ady would have done the same. My condolonces to you .As you've mentioned in your blog ; Allah will fulfill your prayers and you and ur siblings were granted the opportunity to "send" him away in peace.You've made your peace with him. Insya Allah..

Anonymous said...

what happened to ady will happen to all of us....sad isn't it