The title sounds so dramatic.. poyo haha
Its not easy to let go of your baby. Something you have worked hard for and built it from scratch. Setting up the department was a task i took galantly with the vision during my Masters day. It was a clear vision of how i want it to be. Alhamdulillah, I've managed to do it the way i want with all the things that i like to use.Training the support staff in achieving the standard you would like it to be is a satisfaction. Its been more than 4 years since i passed and 20 months since i came back from Perth.
This week is in fact a horrendous week because I am doing the call for the whole week till Raya. There are some issues regarding the anaesthetist available, thus why not just do this once.At least, i can say i've done this and on the very last week.Somehow, by chance it was arranged that we have a full week of cardiothoracic cases! 5 open heart surgeries planned for this week alone, the most ever! However, looking at one of their absence, its going to be 4 straight CABGs.
Yesterdays 2 on pump CABG was a whammer. It was the first time we had it back to back and i guess this will be the way CTC is in the future. I was alone handling the 2 cases but of course not an issue for me. I take pride in my job and i enjoyed it! Having nurses and technicians who were trained to know how i want it to be was a satisfaction.You wished that you do not have to do this, but unfortunately you have to do what you have to do. We finished at 9pm, but it was a glimpse of how things would be in the future here. I am glad though as i've contributed to this cause directly.
It was just after Subuh that i extubated my 2 patients simultaneously.Of course it was a scary bit to my nurses when i ordered it but it was justifiable. And to see that happeningat 6am in the morning is just wonderful and made me sit down and ponder how i am going to miss this set up. A dream where people wanna do but maybe never had the chance to do so.. Creating histories and stories.
Today was an off pump case which challenged me to the core. Somehow i am more excited when it is off pump because its a test of my understanding of the heart's anatomy and clinical physiology and using what i have to manipulate it. I know i will miss this part in doing CABG as it is almost orgasmic when you are able to maintain the pressure especially the Circumflex graft which can be really posterior. Exposing the site is the ultimate challenge to stabilize as it can just go bonkers. Lifting the heart and putting it almost upside down can be exciting to nerds like me hahaha and of course, to many anaesthetists a heartache!!!
Its obvious isn't it? I am starting to get withdrawals.. hahaha But insha Allah, new place, new setting, new hope and new experience to share.