Saturday, December 13, 2008
Congratulations Mutee and Suzarene !
We've never been the best of brothers.I've always been the big brother and him the younger. We were then separated when Mama went to UK for her PhD.That means he grew up without a big brother physically by his side after he became 11. When he came back , I was in UK . Our communication was always semi-formal ; not the big brother relationship we always view in television.
We grew apart. I was always the loner while my other 4 siblings went through lots of things together. There were times when we disagree very strongly on certain principles. I;ve always been stern but maybe at times too much that i forgot what compassion means.Somehow I never knew how to reconnect the bond . We were strangers and isolated.
However an event that happened few years ago brought me back to him. The recollection of the event went across my mind again and again yesterday ; as the akad was about to begin.
" Allahu laila hailla huwal hayyul qayyum..."
We recited this together then and what seemed bleak became clear. I've never talked to him like how I did before. I was exasperated , I didn't know what to do but I just did what a big brother should do. I realized that I am his big brother after all and we are strongly related. I apologized for not playing that role as we grow up but I guess it was the circumstances around us.
I tried to hold back my feelings but it was futile. I became emotional as the moment came by. He recited his akad well( sekali jer ! mamat sorang lagi after him pressure sampai 3x hahahah ) and tears could not stop flowing.I tried so hard but it was overwhelming. I was so happy for this moment. COming back from what happened a few years ago to this very moment and time. I was speechless and I was crying.. not because I was sad but I was so happy. As he was about to perform his post ijab qabul prayers , I went to him. For the first time in my life , I became speechless. I could not whisper what I wanted smoothly. I just cried and wished him well. We hugged and it was timely. I remembered the time we hugged and each time then , it became more emotional. I guess he understand my feelings and it became a moment not to be forgotten.
So Mutee... I wish you the best. Of course , I will always pray for your happiness and I do hope that you will feel grateful for what Allah has granted you so far.. Syukur.. Syukur Alhamdulillah..